When someone loses weight it is so easy to notice the external changes–but we rarely see the journey from the inside out. For every pound lost there are decisions to be made, stretching past our comfort zone to be done–and inner communications that need tweaking.
This month, starting with episode 58 of The Thin Thinking Podcast, I will explore the theme “The Journey of Weight Mastery”. I am starting with an interview with Lisa who not only has released 40 pounds on the outside–but has done a significant amount of changing on the inside–she will share with us how this journey is one of the most courageous and life affirming journeys that she has embarked upon.
Lisa shares amazing insights from her journey of releasing 40 pounds and will give you a taste of what the inner journey of embarking upon a long term weight release journey is about.
Also, I want to invite you to join my FREE MASTERCLASS APRIL 21ST called “How to STOP the “Start Over Tomorrow” Weight Struggle Cycle and START Releasing Weight For Good.” Register now because the seats are limited. SIGN UP HERE.
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Rita Black (00:00:01): No true successful long term weight loss journey is linear. It's a journey that includes strengthening skills of weight management, for sure, but way more importantly than anyone is willing to admit, it is an inner journey of self belief and self communication. It is one of the most courageous and life affirming journeys that you can embark upon. This month as I explore this month's theme of 'this journey of weight mastery', I interviewed Lisa who has been on her weight mastery journey for a year. Lisa shares the highs and lows and amazing insights from her journey of releasing 40 pounds and will give you a taste of what the inner journey of embarking upon a long term weight release journey is about. So come get motivated and inspired in episode 58 of the Thin Thinking Podcast.
Rita Black (00:01:06): Did you know that our struggle with weight doesn't start with the food on your plate or get fixed in the gym? 80% of our weight struggle is mental. That's right, the key to unlocking long-term weight release and management begins in your mind. Hi there, I'm Rita Black. I'm a clinical hypnotherapist, weight loss expert, best-selling author, and the creator of the Shift Weight Mastery Process. And not only have I helped thousands of people over the past 20 years achieve long-term weight mastery, I am also a former weight struggler, carb addict, and binge eater. And after two decades of failed diets and fad weight loss programs, I lost 40 pounds with the help of hypnosis. Not only did I release all that weight, I have kept it off for 25 years. Enter the Thin Thinking Podcast where you too will learn how to remove the mental roadblocks that keep you struggling. I'll give you the thin thinking tools, skills, and insights to help you develop the mindset you need. Not only to achieve your ideal weight, but to stay there long-term and live your best life. Sound good. Let's get started.
Rita Black (00:02:25): Hello everybody. Welcome. Come on in. So, I have been composting., What does that have to do with anything, Rita? Well, I wanna tell you, and I'm not trying to like, what is it when you, something signal, righteous, signal, something where you, you know, signaling like you're a good person or a good human being. I'm not doing that at all. So, but I am really excited about this, this skill that I have learned that I really came from a place of pain because many years ago I tried to compost and my compost pile, I had one of those little compost machines and I would put in everything in these like big chunks of like pineapple and banana peels and all this stuff. And it just ended up being like this big loopy pile of garbage basically that then rats and mice and all these animals came and found. And it was just a hot mess.
Rita Black (00:03:32): So I had a friend of mine, my, my gardening coach, I guess I would say my good friend, Mary. She was like, Rita, this is how you compost. You don't do that. You have to break things down a little bit, but you also have to layer. You have to layer real dirt. She's like, it's like a lasagna. Now, the moment she said lasagna that my, my, your was perk job cause it was food. Right? But no, she was like, you do a layer of dirt. Then you do a layer of that. You're, you know, matter that you're trying to break down and then maybe put some, layer of the, you know, the, not the mulch, the, like fertilizer, like manure or something like that. And, and then you do it again and then you cover it up and then you let the heat and break it down. And so I've been doing this lasagna of compost and it's miraculous because then I'll go and I'll work it around and I'll work it around. And I put coffee grounds out there and I break down all the weeds and leaves from my garden. I have this little compost thing that, like a shredder that shreds them all. I don't really put fruit peels or anything in there anymore, but you know, I'll put eggshells in and stuff like that. Anyway, I'm not gonna get into too much detail, but I'm so thrilled because I've made this amazing compost that smells a little like coffee, and I've been putting it in my garden. It just the cycle of life. I mean, I just I'm so, you know, it's spring and I'm out my garden and man, I'm just inspired by that. I don't know why I'm so weird, but anyway, that is, you know, is helping make my flowers prettier. I'm convinced, but I'm just, I'm just so in love with this skill I've learned, I guess I, and that's why I'm, you know, here, like trying to inspire you guys with this idea of really building the skills of weight management.
Rita Black (00:05:33): So just as I have learned that there are so many phases and layers of truly cultivating a garden, I never set out to be a gardener, but that is what is required in a way, if you want to have the garden of your dreams. And I feel like my garden is turning into my garden of my dreams, slowly but surely. I do kill things along the way, but you know, it's evolving. So, and you know, I could, I guess pay somebody, but I don't have that kind of money to come and have somebody make it for me. So, but the, the, the same is really true of really releasing weight for good. There are phases and layers that often we bark upon weight loss and we get to a phase or a layer and we think, oh crap, I blew it. And we go back to the beginning and we start over. But no, no, no, no, no. That is the time to truly keep going.
Rita Black (00:06:31): Now, last episode, I really talked about this long term journey and I of broke it down and I talked about these. So if you like, you can go back and listen to that. But this month I'm really looking at the long term journey and really what it's required from the inside out. And so that is why I'm excited to invite you to my masterclass on April 21st, called "How to Stop the Start Over Tomorrow Weight Struggle Cycle and Start Releasing Weight for Good." In this free masterclass, you're gonna learn the three most common weight loss mistakes that keep you feeling stuck and struggling. And you're also gonna get the mental shifts that you can make to remove the subconscious resistance and roadblocks and a four-part shift process that has helped thousands of people lose weight long term by using mind power over willpower. So, and also don't forget, we're gonna be doing some hypnosis. So check it out. It's in the show notes. Go sign up cause seating is limited and we're already getting pretty full. So, it's in the show notes and yeah, it's only a couple of days away. So if you're listening to this and it's after April 21st, 2022, don't go look for it anymore. It's not there. There's probably something in the show notes I've put and it's placed to, you know, compensate you. But, but yeah, go check out the show notes anyway, there'll be something fun there for you, but those of you prior to April 21st, get in there and sign up because this is gonna be fun.
Rita Black (00:08:13): So yes, I am sharing my conversation with you guys that I did with Lisa who did the Shift Weight Mastery Process about this time last year. So we do have a shift weight mastery process coming up as well. And she began her journey of weight mastery, in April and this conversation, I hope will illuminate the point that I'm trying to make about true success coming from creating a journey that you own. And Lisa has really done that. There's some fascinating points that she makes and she's very soulful in this. So I hope you enjoy. So let's hop into the interview.
Rita Black (00:08:50): Hello, Lisa, welcome to Thin Thinking. I'm so glad you were able to give us your time. I'm so excited because this week or, or this month, I should say it's all about like exploring the weight mastery journey and you have done such a great, you've been on such a great and interesting weight mastery journey that we can all learn from.
Lisa (00:09:14): Thank you Rita. It's great to be here and I appreciate you inviting me to be on the podcast.
Rita Black (00:09:19): Oh, well, I'm so excited. So I think for our listeners, I would love for you just to kind of walk us through what your, like your history with weight. Like when did you feel like you started struggling weight and kind of just walk us through that? Like what happened?
Lisa (00:09:41): Sure. So I was, I was a really skinny kid to the point that people would make fun of me a little bit for being so scrawny. And, I was the youngest, I am the youngest of five kids in a family that was really kind of a, in a, we were in kind of a competitive eating environment so I had a hard time keeping up because I, I naturally couldn't eat a lot of food and I was smaller than everybody else. So I remember like trying to drink soda pop and being really uncomfortable. And so that was, that was really my starting point was the kid that was actually kind of in tune with hunger. And then, we really had very little structure about food in my family. You could eat whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted. There were, you know, the kitchen was always open and,
Rita Black (00:10:25): Oh, interesting.
Lisa (00:10:26): Yeah. So I didn't really grow up learning about boundaries with food.
Rita Black (00:10:33): Did you guys eat meals? I mean, did you guys sit down at mealtime and then you could then just snack freely whenever you wanted it? Was that what you were saying?
Lisa (00:10:43): Yes. We almost always ate dinner together as a family, but if you didn't like what my mom made, she's like, go make yourself a sandwich. I don't care. Like it was just very relaxed. So there was a lot of good things about that, but I think that I, I didn't really learn, you know, later how to, how to moderate my food intake or that you need to moderate your food intake because it was kind of a free for all. And my mom always struggled with her weight. So I watched her, you know, go through the diets and the little candies appetite suppressants, you know, I watched her,
Rita Black (00:11:22): Oh my God, Lisa, I just have to say the appetite suppressant candies. I totally forgot about those. What were the, I remember those chewy things that you would eat. My mom had those too.
Lisa (00:11:35): Little chocolate square things in a box.
Rita Black (00:11:39): I love those.
Lisa (00:11:41): I ate them too.
Rita Black (00:11:43): You're totally taking me down memory lane with this. Okay. So yeah, the mom and the, the chewy appetite suppressant things. Okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt
Lisa (00:11:54): No, no, it's fine.
Rita Black (00:11:55): So she struggled though. So was she struggling a lot, like, would she go on a diet and then go off a diet or was she...
Lisa (00:12:02): Yeah, she did weight watchers. And I remember like my brother and I would go eat our lunch in the garage because it was back when it, you had to eat liver for lunch, you know, two days a week or something, and the smell was disgusting and she really put herself through a lot and just, and she just really struggled with it. And I think, and I think a lot of it was also emotional eating. My mom lost her father at a very young age and really had to raise herself and I don't think that she ever really got the support that she needed as a kid. So she kind of had to learn to be her own parent and cope with grief, you know, without in, in not in a healthy way. And so that, and, and so she just, just never got that kind of support. And I think people understand a lot more about what kids need when they go through a loss like that, but, you know, this was the, the fifties and you know, it just, it just wasn't, it just was a different environment. So, you know, in terms of, I probably did learn a lot of my later eating habits from my mom. And you know, but my weight issues for myself really started more during adolescence and just more as a result of being kind of mindless about what I was eating. And, I started putting on a little weight. And then I was kind of up and down about 25 pounds for probably the next, maybe 20 years or so, you know, into my thirties, early forties.
Rita Black (00:13:37): Can I ask, I'm sorry. I hate to interrupt, but can I.
Lisa (00:13:40): No, go ahead.
Rita Black (00:13:40): Can I ask, were you dieting in this timeframe or were you just, I mean, how were you trying to manage your weight in this timeframe or were you, you know,
Lisa (00:13:52): Usually I managed my weight by exercising a lot. I I've always liked to exercise. And so that was my go-to. I think there were, I remember one time doing a little diet that I tore out of a magazine, you know, that was a 1200 calorie a day. And I actually remember sticking to that for quite a while. But no, for the most part, I think I was pretty clueless that, that the amount of food you take in actually can result in weight gain. That's sort of a weird way. I, I, I think I just was like, oh, you just, you just have to exercise more and that's, that's how it works. And, and so I just didn't have, I didn't have a great awareness. I really wasn't into diets much. I might try one for a little while, but I couldn't stick to anything really stringent. I don't like rules really. So I, I just have a hard time with a rigid kind of approach to, to almost anything. And so, I, I just kept trying, you know, exercise was really my go-to. I was cycling a lot and I was burning a ton of calories and I'm an active person. And so it worked pretty well. It didn't work great, but it worked well enough that I was, you know, a little overweight, but not, not, you know, significantly.
Rita Black (00:15:11): Okay. Yeah.
Lisa (00:15:12): And, and then I had a point where, I, I became ill with a chronic illness, but it took about three and a half years to get a diagnosis. And so, the only thing I knew was that I felt really bad and I felt I would develop flu-like symptoms if I exercised. And so I went from cycling 50 miles to feeling sick after a short bike ride and ending up in bed for a few days. And it was really, that was a really hard time for me. It was just that, you know, exercise is also part of how I keep my mind healthy. So, when I can't exercise, I get really squirrly and I tend to get depressed. And so, you know, for me, it was just like, that was how my, that was exercise was key to everything in my life. And so, I couldn't exercise for a long time. I got kind of depressed because of it. And, and I started gaining weight. I didn't really change my eating habits to account for the fewer calories that I was burning. But I did finally get a diagnosis. That's totally treatable, you know, luckily no permanent damage. And so, I started feeling better. I started exercising again, and then I had three pretty serious injuries in a row. And again, because I had never done developed a, a good set of skills for balancing my energy intake and output so that I didn't gain weight, I just started, you know, I continued to gain weight.
Rita Black (00:16:44): Right.
Lisa (00:16:44): And then, and then COVID hit, and, and during COVID I was dating who, you know, enjoy dining and drink more alcohol. And at that point, my, my weight hit the highest it had ever hit. And that was a little over a year ago. Excuse me. And I was just, I was really getting to the point where I was distraught about it, because I didn't feel like myself. I think that everybody can be comfortable at a different way. And, and I think that some people are a little bit heavier, but they're comfortable and healthy and that's fine. And I, I can't say that I felt that way. I just felt really awkward. My knees hurt a lot. It was hard to do the things that I wanted to do. I was uncomfortable in my body and, and not just looks, but also just the way I felt so, right. So I just knew that I had to do something, but I also knew that everything else I had tried really hadn't worked. And so, you know, I might, you know, like south beach always worked pretty well for me in terms of like the food composition. And, and so I would get that out. I'd be like, okay, I'm gonna do south beach again. And I would do it for a few days and then I would lose focus and I'd be back to cheese and crackers at the counter. And, and, and so I realized like, I am not, I'm not in control of this and I need to find something else.
Rita Black (00:18:21): So how did you find, the Shift Weight Mastery Process and how did you know all ask you that, and then I'm gonna ask you about hypnosis, but when you enrolled in the Shift Weight Mastery Process, were you aware of that it was a hypnosis-based program. And is that what you were interested in?
Lisa (00:18:45): You know, I, I can't remember when I became aware that hypnosis was an element to it. I, what happened was I was in one of those, you know, late night desperate moments, you know, looking on Amazon or somewhere for a new diet book, because I'd read like all the other diet books. And I came across From Fat to Thin Thinking, your book.
Rita Black (00:19:07): Right.
Lisa (00:19:07): And, and so I, I downloaded it to my Kindle and I started reading it and it, it resonated so much. And, and I think that maybe it was just like, it just came at exactly the right time for me. I had a, I had a coach for a period of time, maybe 15 years before who worked with me and who, who said a lot of the same things, although she didn't use hypnosis or meditation but I think she was trying to teach me a lot of the skills, but I wasn't ready to hear it. I was still in the, like the mindset of a high school football player. And it's like, well, I just gotta practice harder and, you know, burn off more calories. And I could keep, I can maintain my eating habits. I, I mean, really, I was still trying to just live in a way that I could maintain poor eating habits. And so I think when I read your book, I really had just hit such a low point that I was more receptive to hearing like that this is not about that you don't know what, what is healthy food and what is unhealthy food. It it's about the, that you need to learn to use your mind in a different way. And so I, I read your book. I, I forced myself to read it slowly, rather than that, that overnight binge on a new diet book. And, oh, I'm going to turn over a new leaf tomorrow and, you know, I'm gonna be perfect from now on I've cracked this thing. And, and I just, for some, for some reason, I, I just was like ready to, to slow down. I made myself do the exercises, which I never had done before. I would read the diet book. You know how it is, you read it. You get to the writing exercise. You're like, yeah, I don't need it.
Rita Black (00:20:45): Or I'll do later. Let me get to the magic pill and then I'll yeah, I'll go back and do it. Yeah.
Lisa (00:20:56): I'm like, I'm like the classic shift candidate, just, I just have been through all of, I can relate to all of the things that you talk about. And, and so I really did just this, like, I'm just, I'm not gonna binge, I'm gonna read one chapter a day or less if I'm busy and I'm going to sit down the next morning and I'm going to write out this, you know, even if it's a five-minute exercise, I'm gonna make myself do it and think about it. And then I think through, I can't remember if it was through, through the 30-day process or through the book where you make links available for people to be able to try hypnosis, some of the vision exercises.
Rita Black (00:21:37): Yeah. There's definitely that in the book if you go online and sign up for it, and then definitely in the Shift Weight Mastery Process, which is more robust, I think it's every day. So yeah. Link to meditation and hypnosis, for sure.
Lisa (00:21:52): Yeah. So I think, I read the book and then I did, I signed up for the 30-day at the end of the book. And, and I would say like, one of the, one of the things that I realize is one of the exercises is where you, you give yourself a number of belief, like, do you believe you can lose weight? And then that was when I really realized, like, I was like 40% and I might have been a little too generous. In terms of believing that I could actually lose weight. And that's when I was really starting to examine how important it is to be able to have some kind of a vision, because I really, it had been so long since I was at the weight that I wanted to be, that it, I really wasn't able to picture that anymore.
Rita Black (00:22:40): Yeah.
Lisa (00:22:41): So, so yeah, I did
Rita Black (00:22:43): And I think if I could just interject what you're talking about, which is very wonderful, Lisa, I love I, how you're just going through all this so well, is that the pain of being overweight and, you know, so often we go on these diets just to get out of the pain, without that vision. And so often then, you know, we'll eat healthy for a couple of days, feel better, the pain goes away, and then we kind of forget what, oh, well, you know, are we, it's, it's so much easier to get off track unless you have a very powerful idea of where you wanna go. So sorry to interrupt. But, that, I just wanted to interject that in there for our listeners.
Lisa (00:23:25): No, I think that's really true because when you, when you are in that desperate moment of finding that new diet, or going back to something that you did before that worked for a while, all you're thinking about is that you're miserable. You're unhappy with how you feel or how you look, and you just want, you want out of that pain and that feels like the quickest way to do it. And you kind of, you kind of trick yourself or will, pretend to yourself that you really, this time is somehow gonna be different. You know, this time I really am gonna be able to stick to this, even though we all know that if you're not changing anything else you just, you're just repeating a, a failing cycle over and over again, and it'll happen again. And then every time that happens, you lose faith in yourself. And you've talked about that a lot is that's part of the diet mentality is, and the fat thinking is that you set yourself up to fail because you haven't really done the work you need to do. You fail. And then you, you know, beat yourself up and feel terrible and then maybe eat something to feel better. And, and it's just a, it's an, an unending cycle.
Rita Black (00:24:35): Yeah, for sure. Well said. So, so how, as you went through the process, did you find the hypnosis helpful and had you ever done any sort of hypnosis before?
Lisa (00:24:52): No, I hadn't. And I was receptive to it cause I, I knew enough to know that it wasn't like a mall hypnosis show where, you know, like mind control kind of thing. I, I trusted by then, I trusted you to Rita because I had, I under, I, I could tell who you were through reading your book and through going through the 30 day process that, you know, there was nothing to be afraid of. And so I, I started doing the meditation and the hypnosis and I really, I still love it and I have this entire library saved in my notes and in my, on my iPhone where I download them and I categorize is that meditation or hypnosis and what's the theme. And so I can now pull from whatever, you know, there's always something for me is what I find, like whatever I'm struggling with that day, there's a hypnosis or meditation that helps me kind of wrap my mind to get my head in the right place with it. But I think that, it's, it's just, I don't think I could have done this program without it. I do think that's what sets this shift aside from other, other maybe mindful based programs is I used to read about like, oh, just be mindful and just put your fork down and do those things and, and you'll be fine. And it, it just has to go so much deeper than that for some of us and certainly for me.
Rita Black (00:26:12): Well, I think, I think to reiterate what you said is that once you get into that repetitive cycle of starting a diet, going through it and getting off and that feeling the pain, the release from the pain, that becomes a habit and that habit is subconscious. And so, like you said, for so many people, I don't think it's few it's most that that is an epidemic right now. It's like, people are stuck in this I'll start again tomorrow. I gotta get outta the pain. I don't wanna be where I am now, but we aren't going deep enough to really make fundamental change. And that's really what hypnosis helps with. Yeah. So
Lisa (00:26:55): I, I completely agree. I think for myself, I can say that what it has done for me is it has helped me to bring all of these unconscious beliefs and patterns and habits into the light where I can look at them and, and I can, I can't always fix all of them immediately. I don't wanna make it sound like this is just a, a different magic pill,
Rita Black (00:27:21): Right.
Lisa (00:27:21): Because it's not, it really is. It's a tool. I it's a tool and it's one that you have to use it regularly for it to it, to work. And sometimes you bring something out and you're just not quite ready to deal with it, which is how my journey has been. I, I think that, you know, you start with sometimes the low hanging fruit, which is. Sometimes is just the basic skills. And then you might hit a point where something comes up, you hit a plateau or you hit a, a, a rough spot in your life or something happens. And then it, it kind of peels off, you sort of peeled off that first layer and then you're looking at something else and you're like, okay, well now what is this? But the hypnosis always seems to help me, first of all, to identify that there's something else there.
Rita Black (00:28:13): Yeah.
Lisa (00:28:13): Like even if I don't know exactly what it is, I've just gotten much better now at saying, okay, hold on here, like what's happening and I'll take a step back and I'll start to think about it, but I'm, I've become much more investigating those things. And, and you always encourage us to develop the inner scientists and develop our curiosity about ourselves and, and instead of judging or criticizing ourselves or, being rebellious, you know, you talk about the inner rebel and the inner critic and you know, there's a couple ways you can go when you're having a hard time. And one of 'em might be the, ah, come on, you know, have some, you know, just do it, whatever, it'll be fun. Yeah. To sort of
Rita Black (00:28:59): Numb it out with food,
Lisa (00:29:01): Numb it out with food or alcohol, or, you know, beat yourself up because you're not being perfect. And so I really, I, I really think that the, the hypnosis has just, it, the effect, it's just even hard to explain. Sometimes it's very subtle and it takes some time and it's not magic, but it is, it, it does change your awareness of, of yourself and your awareness of what you're doing in a non-judgmental way. And that for me has been key to, to addressing things because now it's like, okay, you're slipping back into an old eating habit, like that doesn't serve you. So what is that about? And, and I'll take that step back and be like, well, I'm very stressed at work right now. I'm anxious about that. Or I'm really tired and I'm not, I'm, I'm, I'm feeling hungry because really I'm tired or whatever it is that's going on or I'm, I'm feeling emotional about something, but I don't I'm from the Midwest. So you know, where I'm from, emotions belong stuff under the surface. Like, that's just how we roll. So I've had to learn to, you know, like, just be more comfortable with that. And even if it's uncomfortable, sometimes I just have to like, okay, this is uncomfortable, but it's not really quite as uncomfortable as feeling outta control does.
Rita Black (00:30:30): Yeah.
Lisa (00:30:30): So, you know, I get there and I don't always get there immediately, but once I'm aware that there's something going on, I work at it and I work at it at a pace that I can handle.
Rita Black (00:30:45): Yeah. And you're talking about, what Lisa's talking about everybody is like this kind of mentality, this kind of what I talk about the, your inner coach, right? Like you've really developed a new communication system within yourself that gives you this space to go through this process to ask, to get curious, to look, to dive deeper because yes, every time you, you do that, you are going a little deeper. You're getting a little further along and you aren't popping back into that old like, well, let me start it over again, but you are staying on your journey. Which so I guess what I would ask next is, you know, kind of take us through your, your weight release journey, because I think the, what I wanted be because you have gone on such a, you've been on this journey for now a year and you've, and I want people to really understand that a journey of weight mastery, isn't just, you know, linear, you, you know, like you're saying, be good on something, lose weight. And then, you know, you fit into a size six or whatever.
Rita Black (00:31:52): But that you, it's really a journey with yourself and that there are so many pieces to the journey of self discovery. Like you're saying like first it's you get some skills and you get some weight release and you're like, oh, okay, this is going well. And then you get up against what I call struggle points, which are not, it's not they're, they exist. It's not like there's something wrong with you that they exist. But I think when we are trying to lose weight and we come up against our first struggle point, it's such a disappointment. It's like, oh, it was going so well. I was, I thought I had the answer. It's like, yes, you do have the answer. Keep going. Don't, don't stop. You know, but people are like, it's, it's like relationships, there's this Amago therapy, which is very much based on a very similar thing where we meet somebody and it's like the honeymoon period. Right. And you're so completing each other's sentences and then you kind of commit a little deeper and then it's like, who are you? I don't even know who you are. And, you know, cuz you're dark, you feel a little more comfortable. So you're a little more of your dark side and their dark side comes up and you know, with Amago therapy, it's like, that is when the relationship begins. It's not when, you know, like, but most people are like I'm outta here.
Rita Black (00:33:07): So it's very similar with our relationship with ourselves and to food. And you know, like, you know, it's kind of like that first struggle point is where your relationship with weight mastery really begins. That's when you really start to have to communicate with yourself in this non, like I'm on a honeymoon and this is so easy and great, but like I care about myself and I'm willing to go through this so that now I don't have to struggle with this anymore. I can solve it and move on. So I having said that, Lisa, because thank you so much. You're, you're, you're hitting this all at a really great and deep level. You know, kind of go take us through your journey with the points that you came up against or some of the things you've discovered about yourself in this year.
Lisa (00:33:57): Sure. Yeah. I, I, I definitely went through the honeymoon and that lasted about six months and I was able to release about, I'd say 20 to 25 pounds. And then, you know, then the marriage started So I, I started, I started kind of finding myself, not being as consistent with using the skills and my, my weight release sort of flattened out. It just wasn't trucking along like it had been. But I think that, you know, I understand in retrospect how normal that was, I I'm sure I've freaked out. I think I've stopped freaking out about that, but I'm sure you've heard you freak out about it a few times in the last year.
Rita Black (00:34:45): Sure. And that's totally normal.
Lisa (00:34:47): Sure. Yeah. And I think that, you know, everybody, I've gotten to know a lot of the other members of the shift program and, and I kind of realize like we all have a lot of things in common, but then we all have things that are just our own that we have to go through. And, and for me, I had to really address a pattern of emotional eating and numbing out. And you know, without dragging your listeners through my, you know, emotional baggage, a lot of it had to do with like forgiving my mom, who, you know, I had a tendency to wanna blame her for my eating habits. And then, you know, I think I just grew enough to a point where I was just like, you know, I'm an adult now. Like, I don't have to be, I don't have to be, you know, a victim of that. And, and she never had the help that I'm getting now. I feel bad that she never did. So I think I developed, I needed to develop more compassion and less blame, you know, and, and real, and really take ownership of myself and my own behaviors and my own ability to address them. And so
Rita Black (00:36:04): That is such a big part of it, it's like taking a hundred percent responsibility is huge. I mean, that is really the bedrock of this.
Lisa (00:36:12): Sure. It absolutely is. And I think that it's just, it's just a relief too, because you're blaming other people for things. And the moment it might make you feel better because you get to feel kind of helpless and for me, but in the long run, it really is disempowering and it doesn't give you any kind of a solution. It's really just sort of a, a, it is kind of a, a, you know, thought limiting way to live.
Rita Black (00:36:40): Yeah. You get stuck,
Lisa (00:36:41): You get very stuck. And so, you know, I, I think that it really helped me to go through that process. I, I feel like my relationship with my mom has improved. So I'm really glad about that. I mean, I've always, my mom is wonderful. I've always been very close with her, but I think it was just like one of these little bridges I might have had that I needed to let go of. And, and understand like how hard her situation was much harder than mine. And then I think I also, when I relocated, I think that I, I left some friendships and kind of an unfinished place and, and always that always bothered me. And so, and I didn't realize how much it bothered me, but actually I was, I was digging through old photographs, looking for a particular photo of me at the beach that I wanted to, to, to have to kind of help with my sort of vision of my, of my goal. And in the process I found like every photo from my past had this old friend, like, it was like, there was just no batch of photos that I pulled out that she and I weren't in there together and we had lost touch. And so, I reconnected with her. I reconnected with another friend. I, I just, I, I realized, I didn't realize how much that stuff was bothering me because I moved thousands of miles away. And, so it, all of this seemed so unrelated to weight loss, but for me, it was really those feelings would come up at a subconscious level. The hypnosis helped me be more aware of like that, oh, you're running into the kitchen because you're feeling some pain about something. And now allow me to like pull it out and to actually do something about it after years. And so, I don't know that everybody's journey is as emotional as mine has been, but maybe
Rita Black (00:38:41): I, I think that when you really heal your relationship with food, like when you go on this journey, it's not just healing a relationship with food, you are healing yourself because in order for you to go keep continuing through, you're absolutely right. Like how do you end emotional eating? You learn how to manage your emotions. It's not like there's gonna be a magic wand. And, and, and in managing your emotions, you're managing yourself, right? So you had a little conversation with your, not a little, but many. You got curious, you said, oh, wow, that's really, I'm still hurt by this. Or there there's these feelings. And, and they do come up, let me take some action on this. And you did. And I think working with your inner coach in this way, too, what it does when you're not always criticizing yourself and not always rebelling against yourself, what happens is you become a lot more self loving, self forgiving. And that allows you to take risks, like calling these people you hadn't called in years and, and be okay about it. Like, I'm, I'm taking some action for me. You know, you didn't know what the outcome would be, but you're you you're because you had a loving coach on the other side of whatever action you took, you knew like, no matter what happened, you weren't gonna beat yourself up about it or shame yourself. You were gonna go, wow, kid, you really, you really went for that. You took care of yourself. You were reaching out to, you know, heal something good for you. You know? So
Lisa (00:40:11): Yeah. It it's, it's definitely, it's exactly, as you describe it, that, that I realized that really I had nothing to lose because it was causing me so much pain to think about these friendships and, and feel, you know, regret and unsure about whether there was anything there, any, you know, was there still a friendship there was there not. And so for me, it just was better to face it and move forward. And it really, it, it worked out great. You know, it's like, you build things up in your mind sometimes to like, oh, I'm a terrible person, but everybody's like, oh, it's so great to hear from you. I'm so glad we're connecting again. Like it was fine. Yeah. But I just didn't have the courage to do it before. And maybe I also just didn't realize, no, I think I was avoiding it. I mean, I think at some level I realized I needed to do it, but I was just avoiding it. And food was one of the ways that I would avoid it. So, so yeah, that was actually, and I, I didn't release a lot of weight while I was doing that. And, and, and I, and I'm fine with it because I realized like, this is the, of, this is the long haul. This is like not an up and down the scale thing for me. This is like, if I need to pause and work on whatever it is that's in front of me, that's preventing me from moving forward, then that's what I have to do. So, yeah. And it, you know, and it never ends. There's always things that come up in life that you have to, to take care of. So, that I've learned, I've really learned that through this process.
Rita Black (00:41:44): Well, and what you're also learning is that you're also creating, so it's not just learning, but you're creating a way of living and communicating with yourself that ultimately is gonna allow you to live your life at your ideal weight. And, you know, it's, you've released 40 pounds in a year, which is significant. I mean, when you think about how much that is, but, but what else you've released, what else you've changed about your life? I mean, I think people we get so in the diet industry, so focuses on the outward stuff and not this journey that is just so it is such a life affirming journey. Anybody who has long term permanent weight mastery will say, you know, yes, it's great to be a, a lighter weight, but who I've had to become in order to maintain it is the value for me.
Lisa (00:42:36): I completely agree. I would say I've gone through more personal growth in the last year than I had for probably, you know, the 20 or 30 years before that really.
Rita Black (00:42:46): Right. And I believe it.
Lisa (00:42:49): It, it's just one of those things too. I didn't understand it when I was first starting. And other of people who are part of your program who were farther along would start to talk about some of these issues coming up for them. And I, I, I really didn't get it until I went through it myself. So I would say like, if this isn't resonating with somebody who's listening, it it's, it might not be everybody's issue. But, but sometimes it is just something, once you experience it, you're like, oh, okay. Now I know now I know what they were talking about. I didn't, I didn't know that, but you don't know what you don't know. So, I think just being open, being open to that, this is more like, if you really want it to change your, if you really wanna get to the point, like you're saying, where you are just maintaining the way you want to be, and it is no longer this just constant, drag in your life that it's just something you start to do more automatically, and, and you, you can free yourself up for other things, I think you have to put the work in to get there. It's just that. Not like, no, if it, if it was easy, everybody would be thin.
Rita Black (00:44:00): Yes, exactly. And, and, but I don't, I, I also think that the work itself is joyful work. It's painful and it's frustrating, but there's so much you get back from it that it's, you know, but I think, yeah. People give up easily. They, yeah, I get frustrated, but
Lisa (00:44:22): Yeah, it takes, it takes determination, I think. And it takes being willing to, yeah. It takes a certain amount of grit, but I agree with you, it's, it's a hundred percent worth doing.
Rita Black (00:44:32): Yeah.
Lisa (00:44:33): But my dad has a saying, he says, you know, what does he say? He says something like, anything worth doing is hard.
Rita Black (00:44:41): I love your dad.
Lisa (00:44:45): I love my dad too. I have wonderful parents, but sometimes I think about that. So, But it's, but you're right. It's not hard in a, it's not hard in a negative way. It's just, it just takes,
Rita Black (00:45:00): It takes more of you than sometimes you, maybe people are willing to realize in the beginning. Oh, well, I'll eat less exercise more. That sounds good to me. Yeah. And then it's, you know, or I'll eliminate carbohydrates completely from my diet. That sounds good to me. And then, and then you have, but you always come up against yourself that wonderful saying, wherever you go, there you are. And, you know, like geographical reasoning, people moving across, you know, to a different country, well, I'll be happy there. And it's like, oh, but here I am. So even, you know, you lost 20 pounds or you, you know, in that first six months, it's like, but here I am, I'm still here. And, and I think that's why some people get to their ideal weight, you know, like quickly when on a diet. And they're like, oh, holy crap. I thought I would be different when I'm here. I'm still me. And I solve the same problems, the same issues, the same prob. And then they just start gaining the weight again, because, you know, they were focused externally and not internally on the journey. So now Lisa, I wanna be mindful of your time, I know you have a few more epiphanies that like you've gone through this year. What are some other things that you wanted to touch upon? Like other, because what Lisa's really talking about are these, these phases to a weight mastery journey.
Lisa (00:46:28): Sure. Yeah. So I, I kind of got through my, my, my big emotional thing last summer, and then, you know, was feeling really back on track. And then, I realized that at some point I was really having a lot of problems with sleep. I wasn't sleeping well. And, and I identified that as one of the big challenges for me, because sleep deprivation makes you hungry and makes your willpower lower. And so I realized like I have to get my sleep under control. And, so one of the things that I, I looked at was like a lot of people during COVID, I had developed kind of a habit of having a glass or two, a wine after work. It wasn't an excessive amount, but it was frequent. And I, you know, had read that alcohol can affect your sleep. And I think we've all, anybody who, who consumes alcohol is probably can you know, familiar with waking up in the middle of the night, kind of parched and, and just not sleeping well or not waking up too early. And so, I decided I was going to see what I felt like to not have alcohol at all. And so, I went, most people wait till January, but I decided to start it in December. So I, I, the month of December I had no alcohol. It was, you know, it's a little hard in the beginning when it's a habit you're used to it, and then you have to stop. But basically I, I realized like that that was a scary thing to give up. I think it is for a lot of people, even if you don't have an, an addiction is like, it's just a comfort. It's like, oh, this is my last thing, you know? But, it turned out to be such a good decision because I realized then how much it was affecting my sleep. And if you get the sleep trackers, those are really interesting. The little apps where I, I used that and I was like, oh, what do you know? I don't go into deep sleep if I've had a class, I went, you know, eight times. And I just became a little more aware of how I felt like, like waking up in the middle of the night and feeling just like mildly poisoned. You know, even a, even two glasses of wine will make me feel that way. I, I just, I would be hungrier the next day and it just helped me realize, like, okay, this is a habit that's not serving me.
Lisa (00:48:53): And it's not a judgment about alcohol. I think, you know, some people can't be around it at all. Some people can be around it and they're fine. For me, it's just needs to be an occasional thing. So that was, you know, and that was a big change because it really had be. And I think for women in particular, women drinking a lot more alcohol than they ever have, and it, it affects our health more than it does men. So it's a serious thing to, to think about. I think the other big thing I did most recently, so I did alcohol and then I'm onto my next thing. And that was to start to become more aware of what my own hunger patterns are and, and, to really rethink like the American meal plan, or even some of the diet suggestions, which are like, you're constantly eating, you know, that's like, it, it's, there's different rules people come up with, but one of them is like, you have to be eating a snack every, you know, so often and so one of the things Rita you've done with our group and always really funny, cuz you've heard me talk about oatmeal a lot is you've encouraged us a lot to learn, to pay attention to what works for us and don't worry about what everybody else is doing. Like just stay in your lane. And, and for me, I've had to just come to terms with the fact that like, I love oatmeal, but oatmeal does not love me and it doesn't matter what kind it is. It doesn't matter what I eat with it. It doesn't make it, does it just, it throws my blood sugar way off and, and makes my life harder. And so it's just kind of funny every time I say that somebody will say, oh, I have oatmeal with some berries and nuts and I'm full till lunch. And I'm like, yeah, not me.
Lisa (00:50:37): So I, I think that, you know, part of the process is you gotta figure out for yourself, it doesn't matter what anybody else does and what we're, you might try what we're for somebody else to see if it works for you. But if it doesn't, you just let that go and you've, you know, you figure out what works for you. And, and so recently I started thinking about, I lived in Mexico for a while and, and they eat very differently than we do. They might eat, like, we would have like a real light breakfast when we got up with coffee and, and then like mid morning you would have a heavier meal and then maybe a little light lunch, maybe not.
Rita Black (00:51:14): So in Mexico you would, it there, the pattern was coffee. And then it was like more of a substantial meal, like mid morning, like 10, 11, 12. Interesting. Okay. Cool
Lisa (00:51:28): Yeah. And then, you know, lunch, isn't quite so much a thing there maybe. I mean, they do snack a lot in Mexico and, and you know, this is not, I don't wanna say that everybody there has a perfect, you know, diet there there's the explosion of snack culture there is, is caused a lot of weight gain, but you know, sort of the more family eating pattern would be a larger meal kind of mid to late morning. And then the main meals in the afternoon, which is what people think is siesta. But it's like, I didn't know anybody who slept in the afternoon. It was really when everybody would take a break from work and sit down and have a meal often with their family. And that was when you ate, basically what we would eat is dinner was maybe at three or four o'clock in the afternoon.
Lisa (00:52:14): And then maybe in the evening you would have something light to eat before bed. Or if you had a light afternoon meal, you might eat something a little more, but it was never like a big meal, like we would eat in, in the US. And so I realized like I had just been fighting for so long when I'm naturally hungry is mid to late morning and mid to late afternoon. That's when I really want. That's when I have the hardest time avoiding snacking and tend to wanna mindlessly eat. And I finally realized like, it's like, well, that's what I'm hungry. So why not just eat, have stop the snacking and sit down and have an actual meal. And then I might not eat again the rest of the day, or I might have something light, but you know, maybe that doesn't work for, maybe it works for somebody else who listens to this and maybe it doesn't.
Lisa (00:53:03): But I think the idea is like, don't be bound to traditional patterns of eating or foods that somebody tells you are good. You have to figure that out for yourself. And I'm still working out the details, like how to shop, because I'm, I'm, I'm used to sort of the three meals, not two. And so I, I'm still kind of wrapping my head around, like what to buy at the store and what to, what to think of, to eat at certain times. But the days that I do it, I will say I feel much better. And it's a lot easier to come in at the calorie budget that, that I wanted to have that day. So, I think I, I'm learning a lot. I about being flexible through this program and, and, and to, you know, identify when something doesn't really work for me and think about doing it differently, or if I plan to do something and, and that plan gets foiled to not be so like, oh, well, I can't swim today because that pool's closed. And I was gonna go at that time. It's like, Nope, well then go for a walk or, you know, like,
Rita Black (00:54:09): Right.
Lisa (00:54:10): Don't be rigid about my thinking. So, yeah, that, that has helped me a lot.
Rita Black (00:54:17): I love that. And you are so right about the idea of flexibility in, in our thinking in so many different ways. You're right. Like, you know, so often were just so hair triggered to go off our diet, you know, or go off our exercise plan. Well, it didn't work out as plan a and we were talking about that the other day, like plan B, always having a plan be, and I love what you talked about, the food in, in Mexico and the eating patterns. You know, I, I think I mentioned to you in a monthly mastery meeting, cuz we were talking about this, and it's fascinating how the human body, when we really tune into it, I think is much more on that Mexican eating pattern. Like the I'm not truly hungry really until like 10 in the morning. My appetite hasn't woken up and especially if I'm not eating, like I think a lot of us who are struggling with night snacking, we're eating refined carbohydrates at night, so we'll wake up hungry or we might wake up, we might wake up full.
Rita Black (00:55:25): I don't know. But eating the carbs or drinking even wine can make us wake up with that sort of fake hunger, which isn't naturally true. But yeah, like I think our true hunger is like around 10 or 11 and then that three or four time. And yeah, but I agree with you. It might not work. It, that doesn't necessarily mean everybody should be doing that, but tuning in and going, oh, what maybe I don't need cuz we get into these patterns of eating and then our body expects it. Our brain expects it and we feel that fake hunger, but we're not actually really hungry. So, it's such a great point. How, how about any, is there, how's your relationship with your inner coach evolved then through this process? I mean, I know we've basically been talking about that the entire time, but was there anything else, other points that you wanted to bring up?
Lisa (00:56:24): I would just say that once you start to develop that voice in your head, like, I, I kind of jokingly call it the adult in the room. And sometimes like the kids are drowning out the adult, but, once, once you start to develop it and you keep working that muscle through hypnosis and meditation, I think it just, just, there are just various ways you can do it, the shift breath that you recommend, you know, there's all these little, little tricks you can use to reconnect to yourself. But, I think that the, the difference is like, you can't unlearn that and you can't once, once you have that inner coach, the inner coach really doesn't go away. It, it just might be a little harder to hear sometimes. And so you, I I'm, I'm learning to try to create the spaces for that voice to have up the floor for me.
Lisa (00:57:20): And then I, I think I would just say, um, this goes back to what we talked a little bit about earlier, but I, I would say the thing that I really realized was that when, when, when shift is going well for me and the weight's coming off and I'm on top of my game, it's really fun. And I love those times and I need 'em and I enjoy 'em, but that, that is not where the ninja skills come from. It really has every single time for me come from getting off track and getting right back on track. It's come from, you know, putting a few pounds back on and correcting that immediately, rather than giving up, you know. It's like how having a bad day and intercepting that and saying, okay, well, so far it has, the day is kind of not gone well, but that doesn't mean I have to keep going.
Lisa (00:58:15): What can I do now to finish my day in a little, you know, in a way that I feel better about. And so, this is such a sticking point, cuz we see all the time people as they start this process, they don't do it perfectly and they immediately wanna start over. They, they feel frustrated and angry at themselves for not being perfect. And, and I would just encourage anybody who's interested in, you know, following this is to just, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and, and, and take those opportunities when you make a mistake to learn from it and to think about how could you do, what could you do a little, do a little differently next time, just the way you would learn anything else. Like you say, like a kid learning to ride a bike might fall and you don't say, well, you're never gonna learn to ride a bike or you have to go back to the very, we're putting training wheels back on, you know, like you just can't, you can kind of reset yourself, but you can't ever go back to the beginning again, like I've even tried that.
Lisa (00:59:13): And it's like, oh, I already know this. It's like, you don't give yourself enough credit for what you know. And, and I think that we feel like we have to start over cause it's an old pattern, but really you just sometimes have to spend a little time reviewing things, but you don't ever go back to the beginning. Right. You just start again where you are. It's like if you were driving and you got lost on the high, you know, you, you took the wrong turn. If you were 300 miles away from home, would you go back home and start the trip again, like, no, you would get, you would find your way back to your road. Yes. And then you would get going again and you might get lost again, but you would, you know, each time it gets a little bit easier to get yourself back on the right road, I would say. So it, it's just a, it's a different way of, it's a different way of approaching it. And I think it's, it's in the long run is what you have to do because otherwise you'll never be able to maintain it. If, if you, if you have to be perfect. Like, I mean, we, we have people in the group at maintenance who have put some weight back on and then need to go back down. But at this point, I, I just look at the times now when I get off track and it happens as like, okay, well this is kind of practice for maintenance. Like yeah. Cause this is gonna be how it goes the rest of my life. There's always gonna be something that comes up. And so, you know, I, I, I don't worry about off track quite so much now cuz I realize like, okay, I'm just developing more skills about how to get back on track that I'm gonna need always gonna need those. So
Rita Black (01:00:46): Yes. So, well put Lisa, I can't say that. That was, that was a really great insight because I do think practicing getting back on track is again, another fundamental thing that we really have to be trained out of far perfection. And, and, and the more you do that, the better, the more you get back on yourself on track. So yeah, those, I always say to people, I hope you make mistakes. I hope you gain some weight that you have to take back off again. Cause you'll get that confidence that you wont have if it was just again, all the way down the scale really quickly.
Lisa (01:01:25): Oh for sure.
Rita Black (01:01:26): Thank you so much. So I at, in wrapping up, I just wanna ask you, do you have any like words of encouragement for anybody who's just like starting to take that first step or thinking about taking that first step? Like, you know, yeah. Anything from your, when thinking back to where you, you were taking that first step or any, you know, now a year later, 40 pounds lighter, what, and so much as you can all hear Lisa's journey, you know, so much weight mastery, mastery, you know, down the road. Yeah, just any words, other parting closing words,
Lisa (01:02:04): I would say, just stick with it and have, and, and sometimes you're gonna have to just, just operate on faith. There are just gonna be those times when, when maybe you don't believe in yourself as much or, you feel like you can't do it or it's too hard or whatever, but just, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and have some patience with yourself. And it's not, this is really, especially if you have a lot of weight to release, this is really a marathon. It's not a sprint. And so, you have to, you have to kind of train in that way and yeah, but it's so absolutely worth it. I, I'm not at goal, but I will just say like, I didn't realize like everybody else I started with like this unrealistic expectation of like, I'm gonna be at goal in one year, you know, kind of I'm gonna release it this rate every single week at 52 weeks a year. And I, that's not how it worked for me, but I've come to, I'm really at peace with it now. And I, I would say that what I didn't recognize in the beginning was that every five pounds you take off improves your quality of life and makes you feel better. And so even though I am not at goal, I feel so much better than I did a year ago. It's it's, it's just, it's just night and day. And so it it's worth it, even if it takes a little longer than you want it and it's worth, it's just so worth doing. Just stick to it.
Rita Black (01:03:31): Okay. Well, thank you so much, Lisa. I know you have to get going on your day, but I really value and appreciate you. And the time you spent you with some really amazing insights and courage and, and wisdom for our listeners. Well, thank you.
Lisa (01:03:51): Thank you, Rita. I really could not have done it without you. I appreciate you so much.
Rita Black (01:03:55): Oh, thank you. Thank you, Lisa, for your generous insights. And I hope guys gleaned a lot from her honest and wonderful, generous sharing. So don't forget. Join me on the 21st. Get into those show notes and sign up because like I said, space is getting very limited. It a 75-minute masterclass and it's really what I believe is gonna be the starting place for your own amazing long term journey. So come and join us, and otherwise have an amazing week. And remember that the key and probably the only key to unlocking the door, the weight struggle is inside you. So keep listening and find it. Have an awesome week. You guys, and I will see you next weak or hopefully in the masterclass.
Rita Black (01:04:43): Thanks for listening to the thin thinking podcast. Did that episode go by way too fast for you? If so, and do you want to dive deeper into the mindset of long-term weight release? Head on over to www.shiftweightmastery.com where you'll find numerous tools and resources to help you unlock your mind for permanent weight release, tips, strategies, and more, and be sure to check the show notes to learn more about my book From Fat to Thin Thinking: Unlock Your Mind For Permanent Weight Loss. and to learn how to subscribe to the podcast so that you never miss an episode.
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