How many days of the week do you dread going to the closet to pick out clothes to wear?
Or maybe you — like so many other people around the world during pandemic — have given up on getting dressed at all.
Often–when we are weight challenged– we have many sizes of clothes in our closet. The smaller sizes taunting us, making us feel bad for not being disciplined enough to wear them. The larger ones mock us even more because they often seem uninspired, drab and frumpy– not who we really want to be or look like.
So how can we shift into a new way of Thin Thinking about how we dress ourselves and give ourselves the permission to look good no matter what size we are wearing?
Today on the Thin Thinking podcast, we are going to explore with my guest expert fashion consultant Ginger Burr on how to get excited about dressing ourselves and expressing who we are with self respect, style, and lots of love, no matter what size we are.
What are you waiting for? Grab your empty hangers and come on in.
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Rita Black (00:04): How many days of the week do you dread going to the closet to pick out some clothes to wear for the day? Have you given up on getting dressed at all? I know for many people, the pandemic made our sweatpants our primary wardrobe to go to. When we struggle with our weight, often we have many sizes of clothes in our closet. The smaller sizes taunting us, making us feel bad for not being disciplined enough to wear them. The larger ones mocking us even worse because they seem uninspired, drab and frumpy. So how can we shift with our Thin Thinking into a new way, a new mindset, about how we dress ourselves and give ourselves the permission to look good no matter what size we are. Today on The Thin Thinking Podcast, we are gonna explore with my guest expert fashion consultant Ginger Burr, on how to get excited about dressing ourselves and expressing who we are with self-respect, style, and lots of love. So grab your empty hangers and come on in.
Rita Black (01:23): Did you know that our struggle with weight doesn't start with the food on your plate or get fixed in the gym? 80% of our weight struggle is mental. That's right. The key to unlocking long-term weight release and management begins in your mind. Hi there. I'm Rita Black. I'm a clinical hypnotherapist weight loss expert, bestselling author, and the creator of the Shift Weight Mastery Process. And not only have I helped thousands of people over the past 20 years achieve long-term weight mastery, I am also a former weight struggler, carb addict and binge eater. And after two decades of failed diets and fad weight loss programs, I lost 40 pounds with the help of hypnosis. Not only did I release all that weight, I have kept it off for 25 years. Enter the Thin Thinking Podcast where you too will learn how to remove the mental roadblocks that keep you struggling. I'll give you the thin thinking tools, skills, and insights to help you develop the mindset you need, not only to achieve your ideal weight, but to stay there long term and live your best life.
Rita Black (02:35): Hello, friend. Come on in. How are you doing here in this crazy month of March? I am really enjoying March. It is so my favorite month, and I wanted to express my gratitude right now. I'm feeling so grateful because of all of you listeners, we are celebrating our second year with this podcast this month. I don't know if you've been tuning in this month, but we have a contest going on. It's a review contest, and I wanted to read some reviews. And thank you guys for your love. Oh, here's one. I love Rita's approach to Weight Loss. She genuinely cares about you and your weight loss success and gives you the best tools to help you lose weight permanently by going to the root of your weight struggles. She goes beyond dieting, working out, and actually helps you cultivate the mindset and mental emotional care necessary to help you lose weight for good. She tells it like it is and also gives you great practical tips that you can implement in your life right now. Thank you so much. This is C Platinum. Thank you so much. I love this. And let me find another one here. Thank you. This is Brian's babe. Every time I listen to Rita, I learn something new. I have struggled for years with weight loss and staying fit. I believe a lot of this is the words we use. I really enjoy these podcasts and I'm currently reading her book. Well, thank you.
Rita Black (04:24): Here's DS Wood. Said super simple ideas. I am actually someone who doesn't need the weight loss, but I'm oddly facing pre-diabetic numbers due to sugar and carb cravings. It's hard to say no. Thank you for these tips. Well, thank you so much. So thank you everybody. So now here's your chance to write a review, and you will get a free hypnosis download when you take a screenshot of that review and send it to me at [email protected] And that's [email protected] It's also in the show notes. And I will send you a coupon for a free hypnosis download in the shift store, and you will also have your name entered into the contest. Drum roll please! For a free enrollment in the Shift Weight Mastery Process that is coming up in May. That's a live online event that you, it's a process that you do online and then it is hosted by me. We will also work together so you get a chance to work with me live and also go through the process with lots and lots and lots of other people.
Rita Black (05:42): It's a really exciting process. We have coaches in there who have gone through the process before and released weight. It is it, we use lots of hypnosis and meditation. It's a mindblowing transformational process to shift you from old the old weight struggle into powerful long-term permanent weight mastery. So please give us a review and send it to us. Now, if you've done a review and you're like, well, Rita, why don't I know about this review? Well, send me a picture of the review and I'll push you on the contest too. I mean, you know, you wrote a review, so send a picture of it too, but I don't know, you need to send it to me for me to know. So please, please send it in. The more the merrier. I'm loving this contest and I want you to join. So please write a review.
Rita Black (06:39): Now I think you guys may know, well, I have a very exciting guest that I'm about to announce, but I just wanna transition into this because my husband you know, is retired. He retired during the pandemic. He was an English Professor for many, many years, and he is now spending his time writing. And he could not be happier. I would be miserable if I retired, but, you know, some people love working. My husband enjoyed his job, but, you know, those stacks of papers that he had to grade, he loved the kids, but really, he really did not like grading papers at all. So the man was so happy when he finally retired, and you should have seen him clear out his closet. So I promise you the story is transitioning into our story today because he cleared out all the closet of all of his suits except for one suit you know, that maybe he would need for some sort of event or something.
Rita Black (07:46): And he gave them all to charity and he got himself a bunch of pajama pants. He just decided he was gonna live the pajama lifestyle, and he got himself some slippers, like five pairs of slippers, one pair of slippers for the house, one pair of slippers for the garden, one pair of slippers for driving. I mean, seriously, he went all out and he's, he walks around the neighborhood walking our dog in his pajamas. He and there are other, this is California folks, so people do walk around in their pajama bottoms in their neighborhood. He's not the only one. Yes, it's true. Maybe in your neighborhood they do that too. And yeah he even went skiing in his pajamas once, you know, spring skiing, obviously not winter skiing. So there you go. That is what my husband has done with his wardrobe.
Rita Black (08:43): But it just kind of reminds me of our theme today, because I think a lot of people got very used to sweatpants and pajama bottoms during the pandemic. And I know when I struggled with my way, I had this pair of pants that I always, always wore. I, they, they were black, of course, and they were at an elastic waistband. So, and I could dress them up, wear 'em for a special occasion, or I could dress 'em down, you know, on a casual days too, I mean, it was, it was just hilarious. And, and I could be anywhere up and down the scale, 20, 30 pounds. This is what I loved about them, you know, so when I was losing weight, they would get really loose and baggy on me, and did you ever have a pair of pants like this? And then when you gain weight, then get tight and get them out of the dryer, and you put them on and, and they're tight, but you do some squats and it looses up the fabric.
Rita Black (09:41): That's what these pants were. And I had a very distorted idea of myself and what I would allow myself to wear. I really did not wear much when I really struggled with my weight. I had a very small wardrobe. I mean, I had a huge wardrobe full of all these different sizes of a clothes, but what I really allowed myself to wear on a daily basis was drab and dull, and you know, I hid in my clothes. I was very ashamed of how I looked. So I wore very baggy things. And I didn't give myself permission to spend money on myself at all. And I hear the same from many of my clients and students. So this is why it is my such joy. I've been looking for this woman. You know, I said, I want somebody to come on and talk to us about how to dress ourselves and how to love ourselves as we are loving ourselves down the scale to look fabulous, doing so.
Rita Black (10:47): And I have found this person. She actually came to me through a client, my lovely client, Cherie, who you may have heard me speaking to. She has worked with Ginger and she loved Ginger. And she said, you must meet Ginger. You and Ginger will get on like a house on fire. And I do. I love Ginger. And Ginger Burr is gonna help us start thinking differently about dressing ourselves and creating our own style no matter where we are on the scale. Creating a wardrobe and personal style you love begins with a longing for ease and beauty, your definition of beauty every time you get dressed. Ginger Burr founded Total Image Consultants with a heartfelt belief that whether you are 25 or 85, you deserve to feel radiant, pulled together every time you get dressed. Her work has reached women from all walks of life who long to connect with their inner essence to create a wardrobe they love.
Rita Black (11:59): She is the author of the book That's So You Create a Look You Love With Beauty, Style and Grace, and has been interviewed by Allure Magazine, Worth Magazine, Forbes Magazine, and Bloomberg Business Week. She is also contributing in our show notes, a free video called Feel Authentic, Chic and Unstoppable at Any Age. And she has a course coming up called creating, sorry, Create Your Personal Style in Six Weeks. And you can find the link to both of these in the shownotes. Welcome Ginger to the Thin Thinking Podcast. I'm really excited to dive into our topic today with you.
Ginger Burr (12:49): Oh, thank you, Rita. I'm excited to be here.
Rita Black (12:53): Yes. So I'm so fascinated about what you do. I probably need you desperately. So tell us a lot about what you do. Just give us an overview of how you help women in getting as a wardrobe consultant, right? That's what you would specifically -
Ginger Burr (13:11): Yeah, I'm an image consultant, fashion stylist, wardrobe consultant. I do all of that. All of those things. So whatever you wanna call it is totally fine. You know my goal really is the majority of my clients are over 40. Although lately I have had a slight influx of women in their twenties to thirties, which is really interesting.
Rita Black (13:29): Interesting.
Ginger Burr (13:30): Heartening. I love that. But women over 40, over 50, the fashion industry ignores us, and it's at a time when often our lifestyles are changing or we're empty nesters, or we're go, you know, really skyrocketing in our careers or we're changing career paths or retiring, you know, things are, our bodies are changing. All of these things as you know, all of these things impact our style and what we choose to wear. And certainly the pandemic did that a lot.
Rita Black (14:05): Oh my gosh.
Ginger Burr (14:07): And navigating that can feel overwhelming. It can feel confusing, it can feel frustrating. And so my job is to get in there and take away that stress and reduce the, the frustration and help to make getting dressed easier and more refined so that you're, you don't have 4 million options, most of which you don't wear in your closet, to have to filter through everyday in order to get dressed. We can really fine tune what you know, works for you, what makes you feel happy to wear, so you can get dressed easily and get on with your day. I'm in the fashion industry and yet I still don't wanna pimp and fuss and I just wanna get dressed and go. And that's what was, same with all of my clients, but a lot of times that's not their reality.
Rita Black (14:58): Yes. I it is so true. And I am so jealous. I think, who was it? Was it Einstein who had just 10 white shirts and 10 pairs of pants?
Ginger Burr (15:10): I think, I think Jobs did that too. Yeah.
Rita Black (15:12): Yeah. The black turtleneck. Just keep the decision making simple. Sometimes I do think about that, but I do like getting dressed up, but sometimes when I think about it, I do get overwhelmed. So why do you think, you know, given the fact that you have this, oh wait, wait, before I ask this question, I'm really kind of curious how you got into what you do. Like what made you decide to go on this path in life? Because it's so fascinating and I have to say, before you say anything, you look amazing. She, if you could see Ginger, she has beautiful red hair, and she's just dressed impeccably even for an interview she knows that isn't gonna be on video.
Ginger Burr (15:51): Oh, you're so sweet. And it's comfortable, you know, we all wanna be comfortable. So, you know, I think a lot of times people think someone who is in the fashion industry, an image consultant, fashion stylist, whatever, that they were born knowing how to put themselves and other people together. And, and I'm sure there are some people out there for whom that is true. That was not my reality. I had a great interest in it. I was also a teenager in the seventies. And in my world, or my thinking, it was probably the ugliest, ugliest decade in fashion history that ever existed. I think most of it was just, at least in small town, you know, USA right? It was ugly, it was boring. Well, it wasn't boring, but it was ugly. I looked terrible in those clothes. I never felt good. I didn't know how to dress myself.
Ginger Burr (16:41): I didn't know how to put things together. I would see friends at school and, and they would look pulled together and I would try to do what they were doing. And it never worked. And I struggled with that all through my teens, all through my twenties. And I thought there has to be an easier way. Cause sometimes I'd put together an outfit and think, oh, this looks great. I have no idea why. And I couldn't recreate that. And I thought, oh my goodness, for crying out loud, I cannot be the only woman on the planet who is struggling with this. And I was a music major in college, so nothing at all related to fashion or style, but I did have an interest. And so I was just about to turn 30 when I met this woman who was offering a three day workshop that she called Fashion, Color, and Image.
Ginger Burr (17:26): I thought, whoa, that sounds kind of perfect. And I was really going just to learn for myself. And I swear to you, I was in it for an hour. I was totally enamored of her. I was impressed. She was everything that I wanted to be. And I basically, I picked things up really quickly. I was fascinated by it all, all passionate about it. And I realized that I could help other women if I could learn all of this fully. I could help other women and empower other women. And so I begged this woman to train me, and she was willing. She was willing.
Rita Black (18:04): Isn't that cool?
Ginger Burr (18:05): I fell into place for this to happen. And I thought, you know, it was not politically correct back then to be thinking a lot about what you wore. And yet I knew that that added when you felt good about how you looked, and this is still true, it increases your self-confidence. It can increase your self-esteem. All of those things were true for me, and I knew they could be true for other women. And I wanted to help other women feel that sense of empowerment.
Rita Black (18:36): Interesting. That's so cool that you became her apprentice. And she was open to that. I do remember the seventies myself. I was a child of the seventies because the sixties and the fifties, the women in styles were super cool. And then women decided, let's burn our bras and not care about how we look and don't wear makeup, which was great and needed to happen on a certain level. But I think we then probably lost that sense. My mother, her mother was a tailor. Like, so my mother had amazing outfits. She gained weight and she couldn't wear them anymore. But the, my mother in her younger years was incredibly stylish because her mother, it mattered then, you know, it mattered how you looked. And then I think we grew up in an era where it was, like you said, you, it wasn't, it vogue to care as much or put yourself together.
Rita Black (19:27): It was more about like being the power, you know, being the woman within. But it's so true that no matter where you're at or what's going on out in the world, feeling good about yourself, feeling good about how you put yourself together and having that confidence, does make a difference. So why is it that, you know, given all of your breadth of experience with working with women, why do you think it's important? Why do you think it's important you know, how we look in our lives and, and what impact on the inner and outer, you know, does that bring to our lives with a sense of joy, thriving?
Ginger Burr (20:09): Yeah, it's, it's important on a couple of different levels. Well (inaudible) many levels. But first of all, as I mentioned, when we feel good about how we look, it increases our self-confidence. And most importantly, we can get dressed and forget about it. We aren't going about our day. I've had women stand in front of the closet and they say, you know what, it takes so much mental energy for me to figure out what to wear. And then I finally put something on and I leave the house. And it takes so much mental energy to feel comfortable in what I'm wearing, because I'm worried, is it too tight? Is it too short? Is it the wrong color? Is it the wrong outfit for the occasion? You know, all those things that just kind of plague us. And that's not what we wanna have happen. We wanna be able to get dressed, feel good about it, go on with our day, and be able to put our energy and our focus on the things that truly matter and that are really, really important to us without all this negativity, this inner critic in, you know, stuff going on in the back of our heads, you know, telling us that, you know, we, we should be taller or thinner or tanner or something. So that's, that's just that we're not. When really we're great the way we are, but it's about understanding how to make those choices that not only affect how we look on the outside, but feed our soul. And that's why it's so important to understand how to reflect who you are on the inside in the outside choices that you're making.
Rita Black (21:44): Right. I could not agree with you more. That is so profound on so many levels. So I'm curious, as somebody who helps people with their subconscious mind, do you, have you observed in working with people that we have inner obstacles that keep us stuck when it comes to creating a wardrobe that we love? I mean, is there a lack of permission? Like what do you, what do you see out there brewing?
Ginger Burr (22:14): Yeah, I know. Yeah. There are so many things. There's so many things. You know, we get so plagued by body image issues and, you know, things that, well, for instance, I, I've always been knocked and for years I remember very clearly when I was in college, I was walking down the stairs. I lived on the second floors walking down the stairs, and a friend had a camera and she start, I was wearing shorts and she started to take a picture. I sat down on the stairs. I thought, Nope, I'm not letting my leg be seen in this picture.
Rita Black (22:49): Oh, interesting.
Ginger Burr (22:50): And that's how uncomfortable I felt about my body. And it makes me so sad now to think about that. And I finally realized, you know, years later, Ginger, get a grip. You know, you probably, I suspect you're the only one who notices. And even if you're not, who cares? Because I was letting it affect what I would wear. Where I, you know, where I would go, what I, you know, just how I would, you know, be myself out there in the world. So body image issues are huge. And as we get older, and our body shifts or we gain weight or we lose weight, I mean, all those things can happen as we get older. It affects how we see ourselves. And how we fit in our clothing and the choices that we used to make that now don't work as well anymore. And so then we end up at loss. All of these things can impact our experience of getting dressed and feeling confident.
Rita Black (23:55): Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, for years and years, because I struggled with my weight for a long time, I would wear, and I hated my legs. And I still, I have to, I work very hard on loving my legs. I'm with you, but I'm not knock knees. But, you know, I have bigger legs. So my, you know, I'm para shaped and I used to wear black pants to the beach. I used to wear, you know, like, I would like, I and my husband would be like, put on a pair of shorts, will you for God's sake. And I was like, I want other people to have a good time. Cause I was like, that is how profoundly disgusted I was with my body. I was like, not just my own personal disgust, but, you know, I wanted others around me not to be like, oh my God, I can't look at those legs.
Rita Black (24:41): So I have a question along those lines. So I notice a lot of people in my world, women who are, and men who are struggling with weight want to usually will put off getting a wardrobe, buying a wardrobe for themselves. Be, or having, well, one, having a closet full of, I know when I struggled with my weight, my closet was full of like maybe six different sizes, but really all black pants by the way. But but what people do is postpone. I will get that wardrobe when I'm thin. And what then I see the baggy clothes syndrome where people then are, if they are on, you know, if they work with me and they're on a weight release journey, releasing weight, I, I can tell you like three different women I'm working with now who are in my community who have released significance amount of weight, but they are not, they're waiting to go and buy some clothes and, and I say, you know, go buy something in the midterm. So, so I'm kind of curious about that whole psychology of, I'm gonna wait until I look thin enough to love myself enough to go and invest in a wardrobe.
Ginger Burr (25:58): Right? Yeah. Oh, I, I hear it all the time. I've had many women over the years say to me, I'll get back in touch with you when I've lost 20 pounds, 30 pounds, 50 pounds, whatever it is. And I always get back to them and say, we don't have to spend, you don't have to spend like thousands of dollars, but why not feel good in what you're wearing right now? Because oftentimes they've been holding back because they aren't feeling good about their body at the weight they're at. So they still aren't buying things that they really love to wear. And then they're wearing those, if they're, if they are losing weight, they're wearing those things as they lose weight, as you mentioned, and, and still feeling yucky. Whereas they can, can go, you know, I don't care. Go to a thrift shop, go to Kohl's, go to, you know, buy things on sale, but buy a two or three really beautiful outfits and gorgeous colors that make you feel excited to get dressed. And so that you're, you're not just going back to the things that you've been wearing for a million years that you don't even love and you're not investing in a massive wardrobe. And then over time you'll have a sense, will you be losing more weight? Will you not, will you gain the weight back? I mean, women worry about both of those sides as you know. And, you know, buy a little bit of clothing at a time, but something that makes your heart sing so that getting dressed feels more fun wherever you 0
Rita Black (27:28): Yeah. I feel like a lot of people punish themselves with their wardrobes also as a way like, you have to wear these things until you show enough discipline, enough tenacity to get it together to release the weight. And when you do then and only then you deserve that wardrobe. And -
Ginger Burr (27:48): Heartbreaking. It's so heartbreaking. Please don't do that. Anybody listening, please don't do that.
Rita Black (27:53): Yeah. And I also am a firm believer, and, and this is something maybe you've noticed too, is that if you are wearing really loose clothes, if you've released 10 pounds, 20 pounds and your, your pants are falling off of you and you're holding them together with a safety pin that tells your subconscious mind that you have room to gain it a little weight, like it actually can work against you. I think we, our subconscious mind does a lot better when our waistband is actually not, not tight against our skin, but that, that it's actually, you know, that we have something that fits us.
Ginger Burr (28:32): Yeah. Yeah. Fit is so important. And there, I think there are a lot of different messages that that gives to us. And none of which are good. So yeah. You want clothes that fit you right now. And can I just go back for a second to what you said about, you know, having six different sizes in your wardrobe? Cause a lot of women have multiple sizes. Many, many, many women do. And, and to be honest with you, there's nothing wrong with that because our, we can fluctuate up or down a little bit, that's kind of normal for most women, but only have the clothes that fit you right now in your working closet. Get either, get the things out that don't fit you, either too big or too small, get them out or move them to a separate section, you know, the far end of the closet. Cause if you do a false sense of security about how many clothes you actually have that you can wear if you have all of these things and multiple sizes, but really only a fraction of it works for you, you gotta weed through all the stuff to get to the pieces that really do work. And, and it's not fun cause it brings up stuff as well on both ends. So only have in your closet, that's the only thing you do after listening to this is go through your closet and move things around you will have made great progress.
Rita Black (29:47): That's such a great, I can, I could see how that would just, just doing that would make a huge difference. So now what are three things women do that keep them from having a personal style that they love? Maybe (inaudible)?
Ginger Burr (30:04): Oh my goodness. Well, there's, there's a whole bunch, but one is having a closet full of black, even if black is a great color on you, which it isn't on everybody, but even if it's a great color on you, having a closet full of black is just dreary. I'm sorry. It's just dreary. And, and it's it, I don't know, I think it's boring. So, you know, expand to other colors that look really great on you. And the other thing is buying things that are good enough. Now, this can happen for, happen for a number of reasons. One is you aren't, you're not happy with your body or you're not at the weight you wanna be at or whatever that reason is. You go into a store, oh, I don't wanna spend more than $20. This is good enough. I'll get this for now. No, do not do that. Because what will happen, or for women who hate to shop, I have a lot of clients who really did test shopping.
Ginger Burr (31:10): I'm going to the store, I'm going to get something, come hell or high water, I'm getting something. And they get into the store and they're like, well, I don't really love anything here. Okay, this is good enough, I'm done. I bought, I, I accomplished what I wanna accomplish. I got something. And they go home. And then what happens is they end up with a wardrobe that's good enough. And that never makes, then every day you get dressed and nothing feels exciting to put on. So those are two, there's lots of things that women do that they get stuck.
Rita Black (31:40): What about wearing baggy clothes and hiding, hiding in their clothes? Like, let's talk about that because I think there's another vulnerability issue for people who struggle with weight that they don't want to be seen. They wanna hide out. You know, instead of pull, pull attention to themselves.
Ginger Burr (32:03): Yes. If they aren't feeling confident about their body, then it's very easy to just put on things that sort of hide everything. And that 99.9% of the time doesn't make you feel good at all. And to be honest with you, it doesn't really hide you, really. So it's not really fulfilling the purpose that you thought it was. But the other thing that has happened is since the pandemic, I mean, we were heading to the ultra casual comfortable scenario for wardrobes anyway. And then since the pandemic, we want everything to be super comfortable. And we assume a lot of times that that means, you know, only yoga pants or sweatpants or, you know sweatshirts or, you know, just things that, you know, you wear mostly to work out or around the house or whatever. I'm here to tell you that you can get dressed in the fanciest outfit and it can still be super comfortable. There's no reason ever that you have to sacrifice comfort. So, I lost my train of thought. What was the, what was the,
Rita Black (33:11): Well, we were talking about the baggy clothes syndrome.
Ginger Burr (33:14): Baggy clothes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And you're right, a lot of times if they've felt uncomfortable with their body and you know, I work with women of all sizes and so it's, you know, whether you're on a weight loss journey or you're not, the key is that you want things that skim your body that will, it won't be oversized. It, you, it won't feel too tight so you won't feel exposed.
Rita Black (33:42): Right.
Ginger Burr (33:43): Skimming your body will feel will, it'll, you know, show off your body shape in a very, you know, comfortable way. But if you're not used to it, it still can take some, some getting used to. But my thought is experiment a little bit with that and see what happens when you put on something that isn't oversized, that isn't boxy. There's a lot of that out there that just skims your body. And, and go to my website and look at my before and afters. You'll see examples if you're not sure, well, I'm not sure what that means. Go to my website and you'll see.
Ginger Burr (34:17): Or get a top that instead of just straight up and down and boxy that has a little bit of a wrap style to it so that it has some diagonal lines in it that, that gives shape and flow to your body. And they'll, I, and that will either, you know, enhance your natural body shape and or if you're somebody who doesn't have naturally a lot of curves, it will add the illusion of curves to your body so it can do one of two things. So, yeah.
Rita Black (34:44): Oh, interesting. That's a great idea. Do you ever have to, I'm just curious, when you are working with somebody, do they have that fear of, so you dress them, they finally decide, okay, I'm gonna buy some clothes. They get dressed in them and then they're, they have, they freak out. They feel like, I just don't want people to look at me. I don't wanna be seen. Does that happen a lot for you or not so much once they've gotten it?
Ginger Burr (35:12): To be honest, it actually does not happen a ton. And I think the reason is that one of the things that I will not shop with anybody or do a wardrobe consultation with someone until they have done an inner beauty consultation with me. And, and basically all that means is that we dive into who they are at their essence, at their core, nothing whatsoever to do with their wardrobe or the clothes that they wear or that they like to wear. Who are they? And then we choose a wardrobe that reflects that. So whether you're somebody who's refreshingly graceful, or you are intense, or you're dramatic or you're passionate or you're a serene or whoever you are, your clothes need to reflect that. When they do, they, someone will automatically feel comfortable in clothes that they've chosen that essentially show -
Rita Black (36:05): Reflect who they are
Ginger Burr (36:06): who they are in the inside and on the outside. Yes.
Rita Black (36:07): I love that so much. Okay, so Ginger, we've decided we're gonna invest in a wardrobe. We're excited about it. So what's the number one thing that we can do to create a great wardrobe?
Ginger Burr (36:19): Okay, so, I mean, there are a number of of things, it's hard to leave -
Rita Black (36:23): I know you cannot tell us everything, but give us a few.
Ginger Burr (36:27): Well I'll give you my, my top three things. Those top three things that you wanna consider every time you get dressed. One is, does the color look amazing on you? And so again, that may or may not be black, it may or may not be, you know, cobalt blue or really vibrant colors, but find the colors that look amazing on you. If you aren't sure, there are four colors that tend to look good on a lot of people. One is a forest green, a deep forest green, the other is teal. The another one is a, is it a little slightly deeper mid tone to deeper periwinkle, which can be hard to find, but it's amazing color, that kind of blue purple. And the other one is watermelon, because it's kind of on the cusp of warm and cool. So even if it's not your exact perfect pinker coral, it works on you.
Ginger Burr (37:17): And so color is totally critical. And the second thing is make sure that it reflects who you are. So, you know, I could go out and dress everybody like me, but, and they would look probably look good if I did'nt you know, I wouldn't fit them in all of that. But if it's not who they are, they're gonna feel terrible, just as bad as if they were in schlumpy clothes. So you have to reflect who you are on the inside. And then the third thing is make sure you clothes fit you properly. To go back to one of the things you asked earlier, one of the things that women sometimes do that undermines their effectiveness in their wardrobe, and that is that they, they don't take the time to make sure something fits them properly. They don't shorten the sleeves or take in the sleeves or nip it in at the sides or whatever needs to happen. Everyone, I know people will get mad at me for this, but everybody needs to have a tailor. You just do. You just spent your entire life shopping for things that fit you absolutely perfectly off the rack.
Rita Black (38:10): I agree. You know, I got in the habit, we have and a lot of people you don't, if you've never had a tailor or somebody tailor your clothes for you, I, a lot of dry cleaners will do this for you if you didn't know, that I have a dry cleaner down the block. It's not expensive at all. But I will buy my pants because I am narrowing the waist. But bigger in my hips. Like, I, like I said, kind of like pair-shaped and I buy my, my pants big, you know? And I know as somebody who struggled with my weight, buying something bigger than I actually am, doesn't, you know, because it, when we struggle with our weight, the size is everything. Like, oh, hey, I, you know, I'm getting into smaller size, but I'll buy a bigger size and then I'll go to the tailor and have them tailor it strictly to my body. And it makes such a difference because I feel so awesome in my pants where I never ever did before in my life. So it's worth the extra money.
Ginger Burr (39:08): You're absolutely right. And what you always wanna do when it comes to fit, is you want to buy something to fit the largest part of your body. And then have the rest of it tailored. So if it's your hips, you do that. If it's your tummy, you do that. You know, for tops it might be shoulder bust, waist, you know, you, you buy it to fit the largest part of your body and the rest needs to be tailored.
Rita Black (39:28): Okay. Well good. That's a great tip. So we're looking at ourselves in the mirror. What can we do? What's the best thing we can do to feel good about ourselves? When we look in the mirror, Ginger?
Ginger Burr (39:40): This is a really, really, really, really easy one. Cause what happens, we look in the mirror, a lot of times we kinda go, Ooh, yuck, ooh, well, what's going on over there, when, ugh, when did I have that happen to my body? Smile. Just smile at yourself. I know it sounds silly, but when we smile it, it not only changes how we look in something, it makes us feel happier. And, and it gives us the opportunity to fully assess things without grimacing at ourselves, which is what we often do. I really love what Louise Hay used to say, and that is, you know, do mirror work where you look in the mirror and you say, I love you, I love you. You know, you're saying that to yourself. And sometimes, you know, that feels a little funny until you get used to it. But if you don't do that, at least smile at yourself. You know?
Rita Black (40:31): Yes. I had a mentor who also said, you know, focus on the part of your body. You know, when you do scan your body, focus on your favorite part first too. That's a great advice. Smile. I love that. So since we're on like, great advice, what, what is the biggest obstacle that when somebody goes to their wardrobe in the morning that they face when they open up that closet door, you know, is it overwhelm from all the choices? Or what would you say it is?
Ginger Burr (40:59): Yeah. You, you hit the nail on the head. It's, it's too many things. And usually, I mean, I'm in the middle right now doing a closet cleaning class with women and I did an intake with each one of them and I asked what percentage of their wardrobe were they wearing. Now one person was wearing more than 50% of their wardrobe, not one.
Rita Black (41:17): Oh, I can see that
Ginger Burr (41:18): One were wearing under 20%. And so when you look in, in that, you know, the sea of clothes and you're like, I don't know, I don't know, I'm not gonna filter through all this stuff. And you automatically go back to what feels safe and familiar and easy and the rest of it just sits there because you don't know what to do with it. So that's where the first step, and this is sometimes the hardest step. And the reason I set up the closet cleaning glass, cause everybody said when the pandemic hit, oh, now I have time, I'm gonna clean my closet. Nobody cleaned their closet. A year later I checked in, did you clean your, no. So now I have this class because, you know, they wanna go through, you get stuck sometimes, like, should I keep this? I don't know, you know, maybe I'll need it someday. And so you stick it back. Meanwhile you've had it for three years and you haven't worn it. So it's get, but a lot of times women aren't, don't feel comfortable getting rid of something for that very, I might need it someday. So until they understand why they will never need it or how to repurpose it and actually make an outfit out of it, it's just going to sit there.
Rita Black (42:29): So should we look at our closet and I mean, somebody once said, if you haven't worn it in a year, you know, put it to the back of your closet, you know, at least, or manage that. Do, do you disagree with, or do you think you should kind of measure by like, when did you wear it last? Or is that just our comfort zone that we're choosing the clothes? So it might not necessarily be the best choice?
Ginger Burr (42:54): Well, if it's dressy clothes, I absolutely do not subscribe to that because a lot of times we're not doing as many dressy things. If it's everyday clothes, to be honest with you, I still don't subscribe to it necessarily. The key is to be able to understand how to assess something so you'll know whether it belongs at all in your wardrobe. Is it a good color? Does it fit you? Does it reflect who you are? Where are you going to wear it? You know, can you make a complete outfit out of it? I mean, there's a whole bunch of questions that you want to be able to ask yourself. I ask myself all of those questions every single time I shop for something, because if I miss one of the questions, I'll, you know, invariably buy something and go, what was I thinking? And so you have to be able to figure out why you're not wearing it.
Ginger Burr (43:42): And otherwise, and if it doesn't fit, that's actually an easy one. If it doesn't fit, move it to a different closet, put it in a a tub and stick it somewhere else. Get rid of it if you feel comfortable doing that, but get it out of that closet. It's the other things like, you know, is it a good color or I can't make a complete outfit out of it. Or all those things that kind of keep us from, oh yeah, I might need this someday. And you stick it back in the closet without really knowing whether you will need it someday or not.
Rita Black (44:09): Right. That's so smart. I love that. I'm, I'm really getting a sense of what this is all about, Ginger. It's about really identifying who you are. And dressing. And it was such a great take. I haven't really thought about it from that perspective. I understand innate style, but really your inner beauty is such a wonderful thing to reflect upon because we rarely draw attention ourselves to that. We don't sit and go, hmm, what's my inner beauty all about? That's just not a question we just naturally asks or ask ourselves. So it's great to even know that that question exists and that that is an important way to approach our personal style and how we put ourselves out in the world. It's fantastic. I love that.
Ginger Burr (44:59): You know this as well as anybody for sure. What's the first thing we do when we look in the mirror and we, you know, we're, we say things to ourselves, we say negative things. Almost always. And so inner beauty words are always positive. And I, and sometimes it's harder for women to really address that. And particularly if we weren't brought up that way. And I remember there was one woman who we were talking about potentially working together and I explained the inner beauty concept and she said, what if you don't have inner beauty? And I'll tell you, it just ugh, broke my heart. And I said, well, what makes you think that you don't? And she said, well, I'm not perky, I'm not bubbly, I'm not, you know, a super happy person. You know, I'm not, you know, really dynamic, you know, those kinds of things.
Ginger Burr (45:47): And I said, well, maybe you're intense or maybe you're edgy or maybe you're passionate or maybe you're quiet. I mean, they're all different ways to, you know, to have inner beauty. It doesn't have to be all those, believe me, if it were all the bubbly, perky, I know I may sound that way right here, but in general, I'm not a bubbly, perky person. That's just not me. And so then I wouldn't have inner interviewed. And I believe everyone does. Everyone does. I know everybody does. I've done beauty consultations with hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of women. No two people have ever had exactly the same inner beauty words ever. I have them all. Ever.
Rita Black (46:24): Oh, that's amazing. That is really fascinating.
Ginger Burr (46:28): That's how unique we are.
Rita Black (46:29): Yeah. So I have a couple more questions and then I want you to tell us about some stuff you have coming up. So what is one of the biggest mistakes women make when they go shopping? I really wanna know because I probably do them all. I was just wondering.
Ginger Burr (46:44): Okay. So the, the very first mistake that they make is entering the store. And I've had this happen when I've been with clients entering the store and assuming there's nothing there for them, nothing will fit me. It's all too expensive. You know, I don't like these colors, whatever it is, you know, they, they walk in expecting not to find anything. And I can tell you right now, if you walk in expecting not to find anything, you will find nothing. And I was sent a client home. I mean, we did it all very sweetly and graciously and all that, but she was so frazzled when she arrived and so upset about something that had happened at work or whatever. And I could just feel the negativity coming off of her. And I said, okay, here's my suggestion. Let's go have a cup of tea and then come back shopping.
Ginger Burr (47:38): Or let's reschedule because you're not having fun. And it should be fun and it should feel wonderful and you're not going to make good choices. I can show you fabulous things, but you're not going to make good choices. And so that's, we actually did reschedule because it, it, you know, if you go in with that kind of energy, then you will never find anything that makes you happy. So I always suggest to women before you go shopping, and I and I, this even applies to shopping online, take a minute and imagine yourself finding something amazing that makes you feel incredible wearing it. You don't have to know exactly what that thing is, feel the feeling, don't actually see the item, and then bring that energy out there into wherever you're shopping. And many times magic happens. And if it doesn't, I've had women say to me, I went shopping and I didn't find anything and I left without buying something. And you know what? It was success, successful shopping trip because they didn't go and buy something they didn't really want.
Rita Black (48:40): Yeah. I love that. I have done that before and I, it that mindfulness, that breath and, okay, I'm, I'm excited about finding something or I know I'm gonna find something. I've done that a couple of times in my life and I nailed it. I got my wedding dress was the very first dress I tried on.
Ginger Burr (48:59): Oh my gosh.
Rita Black (48:59): Can you believe that? Yeah. And I was overweight like it, and it looked good on me. It was a little expensive, but it was, it was worth it because it was, you know, it was just like, cuz I was like, I'm gonna find the magical wedding dress that's gonna look good on my body.
Ginger Burr (49:15): Absolutely. But it really does make a big difference. And I, I've worked with women all the time in this, sometimes I'll stop them midstream, like, okay, take a breath, take, close your eyes. You know, so. Yeah. and the other thing just to show, throw out one other thing, and that is that, you know, a lot of times women rely, if they don't feel confident themselves in making choices, they'll rely on somebody else, someone they're shopping with, a friend, mother, saleswoman to make choices for them. But that's where you need to be able to run down those questions and make sure that you are the one deciding what really works for you. Cause otherwise you'll get it home and you'll think, why did I buy this ?
Rita Black (49:56): I've had that happen where I've had confident friends who dressed me. And then I, I got home and I was like, this is them. This isn't me. And yeah, exactly. So one last question. What, what message do you have for women who are discouraged about the way they look?
Ginger Burr (50:16): Yeah. Yeah. So it, it's such a tricky thing. And that is, and, and, and what you wanna do is, as you mentioned earlier, don't punish yourself by not buying something. Go back to when you were a child and think about, or a teenager, whatever. For me it was never a teenager. But go back to when you were a child and what was something that you had on that you absolutely, maybe it was your cowboy boots or maybe it was a dress, or maybe it was a, an amazing t-shirt or whatever it was. And just, again, feel that energy. But also that might help to guide you to make some choices. But go back to what we've talked about here today and look for a color. If, if you look in your closet and it's a sea of black and gray, go buy yourself something in a beautiful, beautiful periwinkle or teal or something with a beautiful, maybe the neckline or something that just makes you happy to put on.
Ginger Burr (51:22): It's, and it's a step by step thing. And if you put it on, you're like, but I'm still not quite sure what to wear with it. That's okay. Just put it on, feel good about it, and then you move to the next step. Okay, now what do I wear with it? But you have to, it's baby steps along the way because to go out and think, okay, now that's it. Now I'm gonna do, I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna buy myself a whole new wardrobe. You know, I used to do some work for some corporate work, and I remember many, actually many times. But this one person sticks in my head and he came to me and said, I want you to work with so-and-so. And he said, we gave her $1,500 to go buy a new wardrobe. And she came in with the same thing. She's always, she always wears because she didn't know what else to do. And so today, here, we've already given you some, go back and listen to this again, pick up a couple of tips, go out and start playing with those things and see what kind of magic happens. And then if you get stuck, ask for help.
Rita Black (52:22): Yeah. Yeah. And, and don't forget, you can go to Ginger's website and look at those before and afters. I think before and afters are really helpful because you can see, you could probably find somebody in your before and afters that maybe has your body type or has the same coloring as you to see what you've done for them.
Ginger Burr (52:44): And go to my blog post too. I had a woman just emailed me today and she said, I'm learning so much from your website. I mean, all the blog posts on there are free and there are all kinds of fashion tips there.
Rita Black (52:53): And it's a beautiful website, everybody, of course.
Ginger Burr (52:57): Thank you.
Rita Black (52:58): So Ginger, I know you have a, a course coming up and it sounds amazing. Actually found Ginger through one of my clients Cherie, who said, you must get to know this woman. She is so amazing. She's changed my life. She's, she took this course that you're gonna tell us about and please just tell us about it because it, it, it sounds really fascinating.
Ginger Burr (53:23): Yeah. It's called, thank you. It's called Create - and thank you to Cherri. It's called Create Your Personal Style in Six Weeks. And it's something that I put together when COVID hit, cause I couldn't see my clients in person at the time. And I had always wanted to create a class where I was there live teaching it,on Zoom. But I was there to answer questions. And what I did was, I, you know, I've been in business a really, really long time and I knew the area, I know the area where women struggle. And so I created a different class on each one of those topics and we dive very, very deeply into it. And I encourage women, everything from inner beauty to how do you create a good foundation? How do you choose a print, how do you choose shoes? Which is like one of the biggest issues. How do you accessorize something, how do you create a capsule, wardrobe, all of those things we cover in great detail. And I encourage women to ask questions, send pictures. I will help you to analyze something and figure out does it work, does it not? Why are you not feeling comfortable in it? How could it be different? You know, which shoes look better with that outfit? All of those things. It's a total blast. It's been super popular. I'm still doing it. I'm doing it like 13 times in the past three years.
Rita Black (54:33): That's amazing. It sounds like a fun class. Okay.
Ginger Burr (54:38): It's really fun.
Rita Black (54:38): Well, awesome. And I know also Ginger has provided us, so I, so the link to this course is in the show notes. And also that Ginger has a special link that's a, it's a free offer of it's, it's a, it's a video of maybe you can tell us about that as well.
Ginger Burr (54:59): Yeah. How to Look Chic and Unstoppable at Any Age. You know, some of it is overlap from what you and I have talked about, but I think I also show some things in there as well. But it's, it's fun, you know, there's always different things that you can pick up, but yeah, it's a, it's a free, free video that will then also -
Rita Black (55:15): It sounds like a great resource to, like you said, to come and look at this podcast or listen to the podcast again, but this sounds like a more visual tool that you can access and, and have in your back pocket when you go to dress yourself. Well Ginger, this has been eye-opening for me. I always love it when I learn a lot from a guest and I really thank you. I'm really inspired to go through my closet and throw out a bunch of things and bring in more color, cause I do admit, I I, I'm wearing color today, but yeah, it looks like I, I have a lot of black in my wardrobe, but I do like black, but I, I, I'm gonna challenge myself and so I, I wanna thank you so much for coming on and, and those again take a look at Gingers-
Rita Black (56:04): Take a look at this course. It looks amazing. So check it out. The link is in the show notes and also grab that free video on How to Look Chic and Unstoppable at Any Age. Ginger Burr, thank you so much again for joining us on the Thin Thinking Podcast.
Ginger Burr (56:12): Thank you Rita. It's been a great pleasure.
Rita Black (56:13): Thank you so much, Ginger. I look forward to having you back again on the show. Don't forget to check out Ginger's freebie video, Feel Authentic, Chic, and Unstoppable at Any Age. It's available in the show notes and also the link to her course that she talked about, Create Your Personal Style in Six Weeks. The links are in the show notes, so check it out.
Rita Black (56:40): And don't forget, write that review. Send me that picture of the review, get into the contest for the free shift and get your free hypnosis download. Have an amazing week and remember that the key and probably the only key to unlocking the door of the weight struggle is inside you. So keep listening and find it. Have an amazing week and I will be with you next week.
Rita Black (57:24): You wanna dive deeper into the mindset of long-term weight release. Head on over to www.shiftweight mastery.com. That's www.shiftweightmastery.com, where you'll find numerous tools and resources to help you unlock your mind for permanent weight release tips, strategies, and more. And be sure to check the show notes to learn more about my book From Fat to Thin Thinking. Unlock Your Mind for Permanent Weight Loss.
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