I hear it all the time from students and clients: a single phrase that can take away your power and focus your mind in the wrong way, potentially sabotaging your weight loss results. Intrigued?

Join me in today’s episode of the Thin Thinking Podcast to discover what this phrase is and how you can avoid its pitfalls. Your journey to a healthier you starts here!

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Rita Black: I hear it all the time from students and clients. This one phrase can take away your power and focus your mind in the wrong way, which can totally sabotage your weight results. Want to know more? Well, come on in to the Thin Thinking Podcast and get your curiosity quenched.

Rita Black: Did you know that our struggle with weight doesn't start with the food on your plate or get fixed in the gym? 80% of our weight struggle is mental. That's right. The key to unlocking long-term weight release and management begins in your mind. Hi there, I'm Rita Black. I'm a clinical hypnotherapist weight loss expert, bestselling author, and the creator of the Shift Weight Mastery Process. And not only have I helped thousands of people over the past 20 years achieve long-term weight mastery, I am also a former weight struggler, carb addict and binge eater. And after two decades of failed diets and fad weight loss programs, I lost 40 pounds with the help of hypnosis. Not only did I release all that weight, I have kept it off for 25 years. Enter the Thin Thinking Podcast where you too will learn how to remove the mental roadblocks that keep you struggling. I'll give you the thin thinking tools, skills and insights to help you develop the mindset you need, not only to achieve your ideal weight, but to stay there long-term and live your best life.

Rita Black: Welcome, welcome. Come on in. Stay cool, get cool. I hope you've managed not to be too hot this summer. But if you have been a little hot, I have been loving this cooling summer drink that I have been making. You know, you kind of just fall into these things backwards because I have a huge crop of cucumbers this summer. And it's the first summer that I've successfully grown cucumbers. I mean, the kinds of cucumbers I like the last couple of years I got these cucumbers that I thought looked good, but you know, those of you who grow cucumbers, you know what you mean?

Rita Black: You get the ones that are big and thick and seedy and they're just, it's not even worth growing them. So I've got these long skinny cucumbers that are very similar to English cucumbers this year, and it's just making me so happy and making me feel like I've gotten a success in my cucumber vocabulary, I guess you'd call it, or your my gardening gold star for cucumbers this year. Not so much for some of the other things I've planted, but definitely cucumbers. So I have all these cucumbers and I have created this drink, and maybe you have a drink that's similar, but I, I just think I've kind of figured something out here. And what I do is I slice up cucumbers. Well, before I do that, I make mint tea and I let it cool. And then I put the cucumbers in with the mint tea, and I mean, it's pretty basic.

Rita Black: And then I might add lemon peel. But the little ingredient, and maybe you've done this if you like apple cider vinegar, is I add in to a batch, 2, 3, 4 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar. And it gives it kind of a sassy stingy zing to it. And you know, it's good I think as prebiotic or probiotic or, you know, one of those things, but it definitely helps with stomach acid. So it's a great thing to actually drink maybe before a meal or in between meals. Definitely, I've been really enjoying it as my afternoon refresher, so just something I thought I would throw in there. And you can use green mint tea. That's what I have been using just to give it a little more health appeal. So I am going to this week share a sassy, speaking of sassy, a sassy episode of from the past, I think of people and summer, and I think everybody's running around everywhere, and we all have shorter attention spans.

Rita Black: And this episode is a little shorter, but we're gonna dive deep into a phrase that I think I've been hearing a lot again, and whenever I hear this phrase, my toes curl up. And I just wanted to set the record straight. So I thought I'd share this episode. It, like I said, is short, sweet, and to the point, but it is powerful packs of powerful punch because if you've been doing this I want you to consider stopping because I think you'll be much better off without it. So just cut it out, ditch it, and lose its number. And let's get into it.

Rita Black: Over the years that I've been in my practice and, you know, seeing thousands of people I notice many people using a self-sabotaging phrase when, when they come to see me, especially for the first time. And that phrase is, I just have to get back to being good. I just have to get back to being good. I have been trying, but I can't seem to get myself back. The crazy thing is I know what to do. If I can just get back to doing it, it will all be fine. Get back to being good, getting back to being good. Every a very, very innocent statement seeming it may make sense. There was a time in our memory when we were being so good, we were eating right, we were exercising, we were focused and losing weight. So get back to that place. It seems like the logical solution. So first of all, let's look at why is getting back to being good, so seductive. So when we see ourselves out of control and overeating, binge eating or gaining weight, it's hard to be present to that, you know what I mean?

Rita Black: It's really hard to be present to overeating, binge eating and gaining weight. Our brain, our mind just doesn't like to sit with seeing ourselves doing that. Just like me with the tomato crop from the year before, it's hard to see yourself in a lesser light. And it's, and it doesn't like to sit in the pain and chaotic feeling, seeing ourselves out of control. So what does our powerful amazing mind do? It will time travel back to a time when we were in control. Our mind cannot separate fantasy from reality. When we live in our past good behavior with food and exercise, we see ourselves in that thinner weight and focus on that memory, and it floods our limbic system with lovely neurotransmitters and we just feel momentarily good. Ah, but I was being good. That was so good when I was being good, but here is the rub.

Rita Black: We can't go back really. And when we try to go back by depriving ourselves and rigidly trying to relive the past nine times outta 10, it is short-lived and unsuccessful. Why? Reason why? Well, we can't go back. We just cannot relive the past. We can in our memories, but our mind is here, here in the present. It actually does much better moving forward than going back. It just doesn't get it. Be good. You know, we're saying to ourselves, be good like we were back then. Okay? And our brain is like and hmm, and pretty much we'll keep doing the same habits and behaviors that are keeping you struggling. Haven't you noticed that? Come on, brain. Go back to being good. I don't, I just don't get that you guys. Sorry, I'm just gonna keep you doing what you're doing right now. So think about like, let's look at it a different way.

Rita Black: Think about like having a boyfriend that was a really hot and you know, like you had a really hot and heavy romance with this guy and it was really great for a while, but then things went south and you broke up. Now in the present, you think back to maybe some of the pleasant memories, the hot romance, the how sweet he was in the beginning. And you forget the end when he was a jerk and he was asking you for money and not paying you back. And when he was like putting you down and maybe you get back together with him because you're focused on that pleasant memory, but immediately the things that broke you up in the first place are still there, plus the romance has gone because he can't go back. So here is something to consider. And maybe you were being good in the past, you know, maybe you were being really good in the past, but something obviously happened and you got off track.

Rita Black: So whatever was going on in the past ultimately didn't work out for you. Sorry to say it, but you know, you didn't take it off and you didn't, I mean, you took it off, but maybe you didn't keep it off. So it may have worked to a certain degree, but it didn't work in the long term. Many people will say that so and so diet was so great for me and I lost so much weight, but then you gained it back. I point out the diet maybe helped you lose weight, but your thinking didn't change and so you gained the weight back. So ultimately that so and so diet didn't work out so well. Does this make sense? We romanticize the past, but we've got to get real and shift our thinking here in the present. Look, I am not saying that you can't learn from what worked well in the past, and we are gonna talk about that in just a moment, but stop trying to get back to the past, get present here.

Rita Black: It's much more powerful and will be much more successful for you in the long run. For long-term success, we need to be here and now agreed. And we need to use our mind the way it likes to be used, creating a powerful journey forward from the present moment.

Rita Black: Okay, so let's talk about the present because I get it. When we have been overeating and off track, being with ourselves in the present may be painful, lots of chaotic thinking, lots of self-criticism mixed in with, with I am being so bad, I might as well screw it thinking, right? So let's just take a breath. I hear you. And here's the thing that it takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and acknowledge where you are, even when it doesn't look so nice, just like me with that bad crop of tomatoes. But the moment that you do acknowledge and own where you are not critically, not rebelliously, but lovingly and with self-respect, you actually begin to calm right down and your mind is able to think creatively here in the present.

Rita Black: You start to open up a whole new, or not new, but a whole powerful part of your mind that wasn't accessible to you when you were trying to go into the past, especially when you were in pain and trying to go into the past with that pleasant memory. This is when I like to encourage clients to tune into their inner coach. A coach will look at what's going on with a learning eye, with an evaluating eye, with an observant eye, and see, truly see what is working and what is not. And then, and only then can they begin to come up with an idea for moving forward and committing to a goal and a vision. Okay? So we've gained 10 pounds. We have not been focused with healthy eating for a few months. We have not been moving. Okay, I can own this and I can love myself and forgive myself and respect myself, and believe that I can now move forward from here, creating a way of taking care of myself consistently.

Rita Black: Because what I have been doing isn't working and it isn't taking care of me. Once you are here, this is a great time to create a vision of you not just having released weight three months from now or six months from now or a year from now, but being healthy self-loving and confident in that vision from the vision you are giving birth to an identity of a healthier you that you're beginning to move towards and embody. This is about your evolving yourself and your life forward from where you are today with love and respect, not reaching into the past. And if you want to learn more about creating powerful visions, check out episode 49 to list to learn how to do that because I go into great depth there and we actually practice making vision. So if you want to couple this session with creating some visions, check out episode 49.

Rita Black: Okay, now let's talk about when you were being so good because now we're gonna start to look back. Now that you've got your vision, now that you've gotten clear where you are and you've, you're starting to create an idea of yourself, a vision that you're pulling yourself forward to. Let's talk about when you are being good. And first of all, when you are trying to be good, your brain really doesn't understand what the hell you talking about. Being good, being good, okay, well what is good? What does that mean? We need to be a bit more specific with the brain or else haven't you noticed it'll just keep doing what it's used to doing? And that might look a lot like being bad. So I don't really like using the term being good or being bad because one, the brain just really doesn't get it.

Rita Black: They're kind of umbrella terms for more specific things. But it's not useful to use this language with your mind. You need to think of your mind like a computer because now that you are moving forward and loving yourself in the present and creating a powerful future, I have no problem with your going into the past to learn from it and turn that memory of being good into observing specific behaviors and actions that you're repeating at the time that were reaping you the results that you wanted, but you were not being good. Okay, you were doing specific things at specific times and you were also being consistent, being focused, being committed, and probably being organized. And we can bring some of those things, those behaviors, those actions into the future that work for you and begin building upon them. So go, so go look into the past and ask yourself in that time, what were you being?

Rita Black: So go into the past and ask yourself in that time that you were being so called good, how, what were you specifically doing in your life that added to your success? Chances are you were doing many things. Maybe it was a time when you had time to prepare meals or exercise after work, or you had a class at the gym that you liked to go to. Maybe you had a structure like you were in school or you were you were at a job that had a structure to it. Or maybe you had no structure and you were between jobs and you had a lot of time. What were the circumstances that allowed you to have that focus and to be able to really release the weight? Just get specific good. And now look at your life now, what's similar and what's different? Chances are your life has changed and you may need to set yourself up for success a little differently.

Rita Black: Or you may need to say no to some things that you are doing to make way for being healthy. I cannot tell you how many people I work with will say I'm trying to go back to being good. And then when I ask them about the time in their lives that they were being good, their lives were completely different than they are now, they actually had more time or they were really focused because something was driving them like a wedding or a birthday or turning 40, or they were in between jobs or they weren't stressed. And when they think about the inspiration they have now and there is none, they just wanna be good. Or they look at their current lives and their current lives are full of obligations or in a new job or kids that they didn't have back in that time when they were being so good.

Rita Black: Or their kids are at different stages in their life or they are at a different stage, or they are in menopause, or they currently have a physical issue they didn't have back in that past. We are a different person now than we were in the past, and that is another reason why we can't go back. But we must create a new vision moving into the future that embodies where we are starting from right now, and respects who we are in the moment right now. And also look at your life currently and ask, what do I need to set myself up for success? Look at your time. Look at your schedule. Look at the people in your life. How are they supporting you? It doesn't have to be perfect to get started, but realize that setting yourself up for success, like planning every week, having a specific goal, making time for exercise, having the people in your life support you are all going to add to your life and to your success.

Rita Black: Also, while we are in the past looking for specifics, let's look at the way you were feeding yourself that worked. How were you feeding yourself steadily over the day? Were you fasting certain times? How much protein were you eating? When were you eating carbs? What were the meals that allowed you to feel stabilized and nourished? Looking at the specific ways of eating that worked while not being rigid can be helpful for you to build a successful way of eating in the present. How much energy were you consuming a day? What kind of portions were you allowing yourself that allowed you to release the weight? How much exercise? Now of course you are gonna have to make adjustments, but I'm just saying you can look to the past for clues of what worked. I'm not saying you need to feed yourself rigidly like you were back then, or do the exact same diet, but we typically find patterns and trends that work for us.

Rita Black: And hey, those things can work for you now in the present, and you can own them rather than having them belong to some diet and begin to have them create a way of eating that works for you, that you have ownership over. Here is something else to note. If we've been overeating carbs here in the present, the pleasure center in our brain and our blood sugar insulin may need to be stabilized or healed in order to move forward comfortably. If we've been overeating, gaki food, eating healthy may not seem very appealing. It may actually seem gross. So we have to think of feeding ourselves healthy fats, veggies, and proteins and whole foods as a healing process because within a very few days, those that healthy food will be the preferred food of your body and your brain. But we need to flip the switch. And sometimes that requires by being focused and just saying, I am focusing on eating healthy food the next couple of days just to stabilize myself.

Rita Black: Because when we're overeating carbs our brain tends to look, you know, frown upon the healthier choices like the salads and the vegetables and the healthy choices. Haven't you noticed that? And then haven't you noticed that when you're eating super healthy? Eating the gaki food doesn't seem so appealing. It's a weird phenomena, but it went to flip that switch. By making those healthy choices, by stabilizing yourself, it becomes a lot easier to eat in a way that allows you to thrive. The same for exercise. As with food, sometimes we need to transition into exercise. Many times people look at themselves in the past with exercise and see that they were jogging five miles a day or working out the gym six times a week for an hour, and they try to start off at that level in the present and they get overwhelmed and stop.

Rita Black: Sometimes we have to start where we're at and build up again. And maybe the exercise of the past isn't gonna work for your present life. You need to create a path forward that feels doable and exciting to your mind. Not scary, not overwhelming, or like a torture. Maybe even starting with 15 minutes of exercise a day and building up. I know it's hard to be here in the moment, exercising less when we have this memory of our fabulousness with exercise. But sometimes we just have to be courageous and vulnerable and be where we are and love ourselves and we are enough. No, we are enough as we are even exercising 10 minutes a day.

Rita Black: We don't like to seem less to ourselves, but in my mind, and hopefully in your mind, you aren't less, you are courageously beginning a new routine that will build into something sustainable and true to you today and into your healthy exercise filled future. Okay, so let's review. We cannot go back to being good. We need to be, begin where we are and create a powerful, sustainable, healthy life with self-respect here and now in the present, we need to create a vision that excites us, a vision of the healthy and powerful person we are currently evolving into. We can create specific weekly weight release and health goals and create plans around them setting our current life up for success. We can go into the past for specific ideas about what worked for us with food and exercise and bring some ideas, behaviors, and actions and implement them into our current way of living, taking what works and leaving the rest.

Rita Black: Not holding ourselves to rigid, good, bad standards, but looking at things as an inner scientist, observing what works and building on that and phasing out and letting go of the things that don't work for us. This way we stop living in the past and start loving ourselves in the present and creating a life we love and value that allows us to consistently release weight and then be able to maintain our weight over time.

Rita Black: All right, my friends, I hope this has been helpful and please, if you have been listening to The Thin Thinking Podcast and getting value from it, pass it along to a friend or a family member. And thank you for being a loyal listener. If you haven't also, I'm giving you all these things to do. Leave a review please. Just, just to spread the thin thinking love around the planet. We have so many people from all over the planet who tune in. So wherever you are on planet earth please leave a review and share the love and have an amazing week. And remember that the key and probably the only key to unlocking the door of the weight struggle is inside you. So keep listening and find it, and I will be back here with you next week.

Rita Black: Do you wanna dive deeper into the mindset of long-term weight release? Head on over to www.shiftweightmastery.com. That's www.shiftweightmastery.com, where you'll find numerous tools and resources to help you unlock your mind for permanent weight release tips, strategies, and more. And be sure to check the show notes to learn more about my book to fat, to thin thinking. Unlock Your Mind for Permanent Weight Loss.